happy feet

i'm going to write more later, but i'm thinking of "resolutions" of sorts, right now. I guess i have one, and that is to cram as much as i can into this year. not in a hectic, chaotic kind of way, but in the hopes and thoughts that i may start school soon...i'm thinking i may not have a lot of free time in the next 5 years to do these things that are "extras".

i'm doing a marathon. this is funny, you see, because as you may have remembered, from previous posts....i don't run. or maybe i didn't, until October or so. I'm doing this one and i'm really excited, except for the 4am part.

i find that as the year ends, every year, i want time to slow down a beat. o.k., I know we get an extra second this year, for some reason, but there is so much fun and festivities...i think we should have this feeling ALL YEAR.

this weekend t's family is coming to Colorado for the first time, I'm throwing a baby shower for the first time, and they are meeting my parents for the first time. whew. i'm going to need a nap.

i found that i'll spend my 34th birthday without my parents or t...that is good, i guess, in a way. we'll see what fun i can come up with.

christmas

yes, that IS a whoopie cushion on the table...do you have a problem with it?

conversations at Christmas

there were many different topics at Christmas this year. I find that when t is around...there is no sacred topic, no stone unturned:

1. we had a striptease that after this year was dubbed an "annual event"
2. had a penis measuring tape
3. Had a thong that was crocheted
4. had a whoopie cushion that was opened at the dinner table
5. wore crowns
6. talked about the significance of boobie tassles
7. reminisced about "big/little dicks" and "giganticocks"


i know...

the thong pt. 2

I can't really do this blog correctly to give you the full effect, mostly because I kind of had to remove myself from everything because i was doing all of the following: 1. turning purple 2. crying 3. laughing so hard i couldn't breathe.

anyway my cousin whips out the thong and in the process says that she wanted to start my mom off on a project that her mom had started her off on and voila...there is the thong. it is multicolored and well..it's not delicate. it's thick. she held it up in front of my mom's face for at least 30 seconds before my mom asked what it was. she looked at my cousin, then at the thong, then at my cousin....she just "didn't get it".

we asked her afterwards what she thought it was....

a nose warmer, she replied

The thong

my cousin is going to teach my mom and i how to crochet. she has known how to since she was 10 and is really good at it...if you can be a great crochet-er. anyway, the other day, she wrote and asked me what i would like our first project to be.

um...does she not know me? you don't open a topic like that up to me and expect a serious answer. I wrote back one word....

PANTIES

after spitting out her coffee at her desk and snorting til she turned purple, we talked and schemed and came up with a spectacular joke to play on my mom. it involves lying, scheming, crochet hooks and this.....

the presents

i bought everything online this year. it was so fun. Most of my things came from etsy.com and then one came from ebay. this one is t's. it is such a great gift, that when i bought it on december 4th, i wondered to myself, "how will i ever top this?" i got up at 3am to buy this thing because it was listed from portugal. i thought to myself..."how organized am I that i am buying his present WAY far in advance?"

it hasn't gotten here yet.

quite obviously, i don't have high hopes for a delivery today.

i'm so bummed. there is just something not as good to give someone a picture of what you bought them.

i have never....

had this happen. I have never had the occurrance where you tell someone one thing to relay to someone else and they tell them COMPLETELY the opposite thing. Putting the other person into a depressed tailspin and self-loathing angst. some people's kids.....(shaking head)

the weekend...or was it?

this weekend makes me tired just thinking about it. i would say that it's one of the first that I remember, anyway, thinking that i didn't feel like i even had an ounce of relaxing thrown in there. early saturday, i went to the grocery store, met mom for shopping close by, then came back, and got ready for dinner. Saturday, we took a doc out to dinner just for fun. it was a good time, what a smart man and he gave me recipes....always a good thing. he gave me this recipe and i will say, it may be my most treasured yet. he watched Julia child back in the day and one day, she did a bread recipe. he wrote it down right then and there. they have never published it again, so it truly is one of a kind. i'm excited to see what it's like....or for that matter what my first loaf is like. I will photograph it

sunday was just as nuts. i ran around all day getting groceries for dinner Sunday night when we were having friends come over. we after going to kmart, target, king soopers, whole foods, qdoba, back to whole foods and then home...i was done. we went to a neighborhood christmas party were we found out that all of our neighbors thought we were 20 years old. and it was a great time. but, i had to leave, go back to the house, make 10 million meatballs for our soup and then entertain the rest of the night.

i went to bed at 9, i think.

we are old...ish

t and i were talking about my birthday that is coming up and the fact that i'll be 34. i was just shocked. i feel like i am half that...if that. then, we started talking about how old he was. i about drove off the road. my guy, who sings songs every mornings about tacos, cheese, and birds knees....is getting up there. i said, "oh my gosh, we will have to decide in 3 years if we are adopting" t thought that was no biggie, of course we could decide by then. i was just, well, speechless. life is going fast. we had better be living it well.

the drive in

this was so cool today....reminded me of Little Pea's last post. usually when i drive to work, I see mountains, sun is shining, trees are everywhere. this was today:

biggest loser...it needs to be me

i'm still in a funk. it's not that things are sad or depressing, but i've just not been feeling right lately. after last weeks events, (see fridays blog), i'm just still off kilter. then yesterday, t's girlfriend from high school wrote to him, some more weird stuff happened in the office...just enough stuff to make things "unsettled" in my head.

so, i decided that the perfect thing to do would be to go and work out....for three hours. i went to my usual spinning class for an hour, then prepared myself for the great event that only happens every once in a while....the finale of the biggest loser. This show is so inspirational to me, NOT AT ALL for the weight loss, but for the mental flowering that goes on during it. The girl who won, is who i would have chosen...there was a nasty lady on there too, that i literally would have cried if she had won. this girl was beaten down...her parents had divorced and her mother took the other kids and left her with her dad. she loved her dad, but still....her mom left her. she was devastated. she was ready to quit half way into the show, not because she couldn't do the physical, but she couldn't get past her mental roadblocks.

so, i sat on an elliptical machine and treadmill for 2 more hours while i watched this show. i am happy to say, all is back to normal and all is good. were most people watching me instead of their own TV's. Why? Well, every now and again, i would cheer out loud. t was embarrassed everytime i would yell. but oh well

Get rid of the roadblocks, people.

The coolest site...or one of them

I need to get some glasses. not for anything crazy, like i can't see my pencil in front of my face, but just for driving. I had lasik about 7 years ago and while it has held up just fine, my night driving leaves a little to be desired. i was reading Kiplingers magazine the other day, not because i subscribe to it, but because the nicest person gives me a copy of it every month just to read. he is 89 years old and doesn't "need" the advice they are giving because he is past retirement age.

i look in there and they have a page on where to buy cheap glasses online. They name a few, but i go to 39dollarglasses.com. i'm thinking, "that sounds great, but they can't be that cheap" $19.00 baby! they are cute, i don't care if i can't try them on, i'm so getting them. on top of it, you can input your picture in and see what they might look like on you. I'm so doing this.

the winter

The weather is so cold right now. -5 degrees. but i love it. it makes you just want to be home with the fireplace on. speaking of which, we just got our fireplace fixed today, so i decided to skip the gym and come home. i walked into a clean house, that i had not cleaned, to the christmas tree, lit up, and the fireplace on. ahhhhhhh.................................

the hat

i think i posted before about how "fashion forward" my mom is. she is hysterical. everyone comments on it when they know her...the local hairdressers think she is the s^#%.

anyway, we were at this store a few months ago and apparently...(I did not know it at the time) but, I NEEDED THIS HAT. She got it for me and it is the warmest, best hat ever. i love it. tony and his dad make jokes about me being Casey Jones....i would laugh, but i have no idea who it is...other than possibly some railroad conductor. ha ha...

hideous christmas

my friends and i donated this tree to this fundraiser. it was so cool and so much fun to be a part of. long story short....we've gone to this fundraiser for years. it's for a school in the area that helps disabled children. it used to be really small, now it is upwards of 300-400 people. you go to this event and magical people have put together trees with lots of goodies on them that you can put raffle tickets in and win. this year there were 80 trees. it was awesome. what was awesome too, is that for the first time, my friends and i decided to try to be magical. we had to think of a theme for our tree. at first, we thought, "sex and the city". then, after visions of dildos hanging from the tree, we opted out of that one. we chose "girls night out" figured....there were plenty of girls there and hey, maybe they needed a night out. My friend margie went out and knocked on every storefront she could find, getting donations. she got: massage, 3 hair cuts, microderm-abraison, two girly movies, a beijo wallet, dinner theater tickets, etc. it was a haul. people went nuts over this tree. my cousin handpainted martini glasses. it was awesome. o.k....i do realize, honestly, that the tree is hideous looking. it hurts my eyes. but it was for a good cause. and we got to be elves for a day

bootcamp pt. 2.

i forgot to write about my feelings about bootcamp soon after i had done it. I thought it was a great thing....until i couldn't straighten my ARMS afterwards. no joke...i tried two days later. couldn't do it...without intense nausea coming over me. it was horrible. i drank a lot of wine that night and was fine the next day :)

ebay

HA HA! I love winning things. i love the fact that when you get something from ebay, they tell you that you have WON! in your head, it almost makes it free or something.

well, i did my best ebaying this morning at 3am. i found something for t on there that i was thinking he needed. it was pricey originally, $370. i thought, well, if i can get it cheaper, then i would buy it. if not, he didn't need it that badly and a Heart Rate monitor would do him just fine.

i got up at 3 and found that someone had last bid late last night. this item is in Portugal. I thought, well, no one in the US is up at 5am (east coast) and bidding on this thing. so, 5 minutes before the auction ended, i put in my high bid. then 3 minutes before it ended, SOMEONE BID. What the heck....didn't they know that item was mine?

so, i waited and waited, 3 seconds left. i got it.

i do love snow

i do love waking up and seeing this.

that was nice. what is NOT nice is remembering that in february of this year, you traded in your 4wd jeep for this nice, fuel efficient car. oh, you think, i'll be fine, i don't need 4wd to drive the 45 minutes that it takes to get to work.

WRONG.

i do not know if the tires suck or if it's just the car in general, but after having to be pushed up hills because my car was skidding backwards....i'm getting a different car. i wrote to t, he is in AZ right now, and he agreed. when he gets home, we are car shopping.

finally

well, i'm here....

My bootcamp experience, you ask? well, it was hard....in a good, bootcampy way. We did a few minutes of cardio, then went to work...

1. did "self-assisted" pull ups. i don't know if the words "self-assisted" were supposed to make us feel like we were getting help of some kind, but don't fool yourselves.

2. Stationary bike for 2 min.

3. Did chest press for 2 min. i have not done a chest exercise for 5 years due to a medical reason. obviously, i couldn't finish the 2 min.

4. did elliptical for 2 min.

5. did hamstring curls. one min. each side

6. did stationary bike 2 min.

7. did step ups with 15 pound weights in each hand. yes, it's insane

8. did triceps one way and then back another way

9. did biceps

10. did abs

11. threw this weighted ball on the ground. THIS WAS HARD

12. did squats with hand weights onto a little bitty ball on the floor

13. more chest.

then...A WHOLE LOT OF AB STUFF.

I think this is giving me a once a week work-out that i need. the rest of the time i do things that i'm comfortable with...that i love to do and that release me. this will help my butt. that's all i can say about it

the tree

i love trees. i have loved decorating christmas trees since the year i left home to go to school in texas. when i got home that year for the holidays, my parents said i could do anything with the tree that i wanted. so...it was all white that year. it may have even been flocked (i know....70s throwback). it had crystals and sparkly things all over it. not a ONE single homemade ornament from when i was little was on there. it was great. after that year, i was in charge of the trees. each year, we had themes based on colors.

last year, we moved into our house, and didn't have a tree. we got one after the holiday sale that was 90% off. we put it up, just to see what it would look like in the house....and left it up til March. i guess we liked it. we bought TONS of ornaments and everything and thought, YES, it is time!

well, our tree is frankly boring. we did a bow on it that just looks like a stupid bridesmaids dress gone bad. it's terrible. i bought some glittery eucalyptus and branches that seemed to help out somewhat, but still. we will buy a star instead of the bow (which was so bad, i couldn't take a picture of it). but, as of now, this is our tree.

bootcamp?

in the past few weeks, i decided that i needed an exercise makeover. i exercise all of the time, but i tend to stick to only a few things. like spinning, i love it. cannot get enough, so i would do just that for 2 hours a day. it's my latest theory that changing it up will be the thing that helps me accomplish my goals. i think i've noticed a difference since running and also doing the elliptical. enter bootcamp.

my cousin's girlfriend teaches bootcamp, as they call it. i'm going at lunch today, which is why i'm writing now, in case i cannot physically move this afternoon. she's a machine and so is my cousin, so they will have plenty of entertainment for the afternoon. i think they may have just asked me to come, for just that reason.

the altar

i was explaining last night, the tradition that we do to celebrate someone after they have died. it's been two years since my grandpa died. it really seems like it was yesterday. i still can't erase his number or email from my phone and computer. i can't really talk about him still to people in person, because well, it just seems too real then. when the minister was talking last night and saying things about him, it was all true. i mean, she was saying really nice, giving things that my grandpa had done and it wasn't just lip service towards him. he was just that cool. it has been, and likely always will be, one of the greatest losses that we could have had. what a guy...

we had a service at my aunt's house last night for him. to be honest, i think it was just to eat, as are most things with my family. but the minister gave a REALLY good talk. it was about the "prisons" that we put ourselves in and the people that we surround ourselves with that make us more comfortable in those prisons, but do not help us to get OUT of them. it really struck me. WOW

the ultimate compliment...

"i can hardly believe that anyone deserves you"

we did it

Hoppy Thanksgiving all!

We had a frog casualty last night. it was quite sad. it was our longest lasting frog. The three in the pond are a bunch of 5. most are bigger than those. One of them, i think it's the one on the top right, is the one we got as a little guy. we put him in the tank with the lid off and he followed me across the house and hopped on my foot. i love that kid

my mom

my mom buys really cool things. like, to a point where i have people all over asking me, "where did you get that?" 9 times out of 10, it's from my mom. when i go to the same hair place that she does, they all tell me what a hip mom i have. this is funny to me. i don't know why. it is she who wouldn't listen when i told her i didn't WANT a short, swingy jacket, and then me who ate my words when everytime i wear it i have people coming up to me asking me incessantly where i got it. it was she who bought me the "train conductor" type hat and it is now me, who will not take it off. she bought me a belt, made from soda tabs, she bought me purses, made from candy wrappers...

but my feet were REALLY happy today, when she bought me these slippers.

only him...

t was in a surgery today and the song "i shot the sheriff" came on. he doesn't like it and when he doesn't like something, he tends to make up his own words. the songs ususally have something to do with tacos and cheese....of which he eats neither. anyway, he was the case and makes up these little gems: "I ate some carrots, but i did not eat the celery". he thought it improved the song dramatically.

build a bear? really?

my friend invited me to go to a build a bear store with her for some adult company (i use the word "adult" loosely). i was intrigued by this place, had never been in one but had always wondered what drew 20 kids in at a time to this place for birthday parties and such. i left, shockingly, knowing what drew them in. that place was awesome. i would have completely dug it...if i were 12 and i almost did at the age of 33.

we moseyed over to starbucks and had some eggnog lattes and scones (yum) over some girl only conversations. it was a blast.

then, went over to the t's bro and sis' house to help move. i didn't do a lot...i'll admit. i did bring up a lot stuff, but figured since there were 5 strapping men there, they could do the lifting. i've done too much of my share of moving and breaking things, etc. it also make me take a deep breath and realize that this is now the longest i've lived somewhere since i graduated from high school. and we're planning on another 20plus years here. i don't know why this feels o.k. to me, but it does. i think now, it's mainly that i don't want to move.

i then proceeded to take a gander at some stores, bought some toilet paper for FREE. yes, FREE. like 12 packages of it. the cashier guy thought i was nuts as i cheered myself on as he scanned each coupon. or maybe that i was buying 12 packages of toilet paper. i don't know. don't care...it was free.

it was so cold.....

i needed these today

the goods

here is a picture of just the shampoo that i've gotten for .19 cents a bottle. i know....this may not be very exciting to everyone else, but really, it's exciting to me. it has cut down on my grocery bill by hundreds. literally.

pictures

my friend june mentioned yesterday that i hadn't posted a picture. this is true. however, there is a good reason. i went yesterday to take a picture of my frogs that she wants to see. i didn't think she would want a picture of what i would have taken. i don't know what the heck happened, but there was a fried frog in the tank. sorry! we'll do some today!

surrounding yourself with goodness

This is your own responsibility. i truly believe this. you are responsible for the people that you are around. not for their actions, but for the fact that you CHOOSE to be around them. i hear people consistently say how upset they are about so and so and they don't even know why they are friends with people. it is simple. you are around the wrong people and you are owning what they are doing and not what you are responsible for.

after choosing to be in some not-so-hot relationships, i can't tell you how refreshing it is to come home from a long day and have someone say, after i have burnt dinner, my finger, and am frustrated, "you are the best, oh...and you are so cute too" i can't tell you how great it is to be on IM with my friend and after telling her about a time in life that was not so great, have her say, "you are awesome", or how great it is to get online and find a blog that is singing your praises as a friend.

i don't need these reassurances from any of these people, i'm confident in myself...but it is most important for me to know that these people are wonderful, healthy, and honest.

i've picked a good bunch this time

saving, saving...oh, and saving

i have a problem. it's something that other people, more old, more musty smelling people do. i have an addiction to coupons. i get them everywhere. out of the paper, online, off of ebay, anywhere i can find them. i have to say though, at least i just don't collect the coupons themselves, but i do use them. when i get home, i'm taking a picture of my cabinets. i have 10 bottles of shampoo, 3 things of styling stuff, 15 tubes of toothpaste and 60 rolls of toilet paper that was all....FREE. yes, free. and we all know that in these times, free is good.

it turned out to be more of a money saving strategy at first, but then, it turned cathartic. i mean, i really relax doing this and it's something i can plan for and i can achieve. o.k., so my acheivement is getting free stuff to wipe people's behinds with....but still.

a little ditty

i got this from little pea, so thank you! it gives me something to write about when i don't have anything. well, yes, actually, i do, but this will be much more interesting, i would think.

1) What book has most touched your soul?- without a doubt, "the little price", hands down, no question, that is it. this does it for me because it's about human nature, the value of innocence, and the power of fidelity

however, that being clarified...i would say that every book that i read touches my soul. i do not finish reading something that i don't feel would be worth reading, so in that respect, it's hard to answer this.

But i did just read this book last night that i think is worth mention. wow, i would have a hard time with this, without saying that it was the last book that i read. I just read "The Memory of Running" by Ron McLarty. It was really a great book. It was fairly toned down from my usual taste. for some reason,i usually pick things that have some crazy surprise twist at the end. This book, to me, was exhausting to read. it had aspects about mental illness and hopelessness, which are exhausting concepts, i think. but, it ended up very much different than i had ever thought it would.


2) How do you think being a teenager today is different from when you were a teenager?-i think it is very different. and NO, it was not that long ago that i was a teenager. i think it is a much scarier time to be a parent right now. you can only control how you raise your kids, not the way that other people raise theirs and i think that right now, there is a much more prevalent "flippant" attitude with parenting....SCARY.



3) If you found out for sure there was no afterlife at all, would you change how you live your life?-i don't think i would change the way that i ran my life currently. it would definitely bug me though. one of my favorite things to do, is have a good friday night cry, watching john edward on the we network. i love the idea of people being able to "connect" with people...in life and in death. i don't know for a fact that it can happen, but the thought that it MIGHT, is good enough for me


4) What is the biggest regret of your life so far.

i don't have many. i wouldn't say this wide blanket statement of, "i wish i would have never met ______". but i will say, that i wish that i had been strong enough to leave him when it was very early in the relationship. there was a specific time that i had to go to the hospital for nothing more than a horrid kidney infection. it was not life threatening, i'm sure, but it was 2am and i was going to the hospital for the first time in my life. i called him. he was sleeping. he basically said: go and hope all is o.k. he had been up all night drinking wine with his roommate.

i kept wanting him to magically show up at the hospital and hang out with me while i was waiting in a cold room in a paper gown in the middle of a scuzzy part of Denver, but that did not happen.

when i got home and told him that i was home, he did not come over or call to find out himself. i called him. when i finally did see him that day, it was me who went over to his house. That is the day...i regret not getting out then.

another thing is that there are a couple times when i have done things or not done things, for my parents. i can think of two, but i wouldn't have done them now and will never do them again.

bye bye blonde hair

about a couple years ago, i tried something new. that would be, being blond. as blond as i could be...without my hair falling out or breaking off. I accomplished the first. through this, i learned that half japanese girls....are not SUPPOSED to be blonde. There is nothing that says ever, ever, that they are supposed to be blonde. my hair people, god bless them, would say, "are you sure?" every time i went in. i noticed at that time, also, that fathers will ALWAYS like their daughter's looks better when they are looking the way that they came into the world, if you get my drift. my dad HATED every time i'd dye my hair. the funniest time was when i had my hair done and met my mom and dad and in CT and they drove by me. it was platinum...i can understand...but really...i'm your daughter.

i know that some of those girls that live in the playboy mansion are naturally brunettes, so I thought that it should have been easy. it, however, was not. i didn't understand how their hair looked so healthy and bouncy. now, i am in a different place. i still do not know how their hair is so healthy....and now...i could give a shit.

i have spent months, after realizing that i had fried my hair, doing...well...nothing to my hair. it is long now. it has not been touched by scissors in ages, it has not touched anything for ages. i mean, i've washed it, but let it dry on it's own, etc. i've let the grey come through. i have a lot of it. i mean...a lot.

it's o.k. i think it's kind of cool and i'm going to leave it. in fact, when i dye my hair dark, i'm trying to leave out as much as i can that has the grey in it.

revision

o.k. maybe the run isn't happening. i woke up this a.m. to the first snow on the ground! i don't know if i want to be doing that with a high of 40 degrees today. but who knows....maybe i do. we'll see. oh, i just thought of a way....keep posted

full moon

I have an opportunity that I might do. there is a running club that is having a "full moon run" tomorrow. it sounds awesome. it's at 6:45pm, so already dark and it's a 3.3 mile run in the light of the full moon. i would likely be running on my own, but can you imagine....

Life is a mind-set

I was thinking about how funny it is that I'm loving doing all of these activities that I'm doing right now.

Mostly, I was thinking about running. Now, I know that it is not "good" for your joints and you can do things that are much better for your strength, so that is my disclaimer. But, as I've been doing these races and going to a running group, I really find...that i ENJOY it. i think most of all, i enjoy the fact that this is not something that i'm "supposed" to be good at. i was never one of those twiggy, beautiful, doe-like, looking kids that decided on a whim to run cross country or track.

so, i revel in the fact that last night, before my spinning class, i took a 4 mile run. it wasn't fast, by any stretch of the imagination. by looking at me, you may think i'm listening to some fast, techno music, as anyone would to motivate them. but no....i'm listening to the music from Ferris Bueller's day off. you know the one? when they are in the museum, looking at art. it is the perfect soundtrack to my running in the fall leaves. i would ALMOST go so far as to say that it is relaxing.

the latest baking creation

I made a pie. This may not seem like a feat to many of you. I've seen the parties you throw with friends and the amazing food that makes you drool when I read your posts. But to me, this is the unattainable thing that I can never make. I was a caterer of pastries in college, so the fact that i cannot make a pie to save my life, well...it's just weird. There were the crusts that were soggy, the ones that were crispy, the one, oh yes, there was the pecan one (think LOTS of sugary corn syrup) that bent from the aluminum pan and then think taco shaped pan. From there, think lots of scalding hot sugar syrup all over my brand new oven. . so, you get my drift.



t got a fail-proof recipe from a doc in WY. I did it.





You may think, "Why is that in black and white, surely it would look better in color". The reason is this: 1. it actually does look better in black and white and 2. my archaic computer at home just edited it this way.

it tastes amazing

the challenge

My dear internet, turned in-person friend dared me to a mission, which i most thankfully will accept. I am to post pictures daily on here for a full month. I would have one today, but my camera is sitting by my side with a dead battery as we speak (well...as I write). so tomorrow....watch out!

update

what we did this weekend:

1. ran the 2 mile turkey trot in Longmont
2. got overtaken by what seemed like thousands of middle school cross country runners
3. went to the "christmas party" for t's work
4. even though we've been married a year and a half, they had us do a "first dance' at this event. ugh...it was really...well, gross. not because of him, but ick...to have that thrown at you unexpectedly.
5. They redeemed themselves by having little chocolate sleighs filled with a creamy custard and fresh fruit
6. baked banana bread that was actually good
7. made hardboiled eggs that actually peeled
8. went to a new restaurant with my cousin.
9. reminisced about "the way things were" and made some semi resolutions to make them back that way again

it was an awesome weekend, all in all. next weekend should be interesting and just as fun and exciting. i'm going to a dog's birthday party. i'm thinking it's an excuse for a party, but still, what a terrific idea! t is out of town for the weekend, so i'm looking to do a lot of reading, beading, and hanging...stuff i don't do a ton of when he's around. it's not because he "keeps" me from these things, but we just seem to have even more active things to do when he's around. it should be a good time!!!

it cracks me up

it cracks me up when people assume that they know your political affiliations. i didn't even know my affiliations, so i sure do not expect others to know, unless they have asked and i have told them. what is the funniest is that many times, it's with people you do not know or haven't talked to in ages. I cannot tell you the number of times that I got, "well, as long as you're voting for McCain you can go...don't bother going if you are going to vote for Obama" or my favorite, "let's wait to see obama go into the ground" now, i don't care either way, which way you voted. really, and i surely wouldn't be telling people that they should be voting for someone when i don't know what has happened to them in the past 15 years that would sway them in any way. it just cracks me up, that's all.

wouldn't that be nuts?

What if Michelle Obama voted for McCain, but no one knew but her? I wonder how many people profess to be republican, but really vote democrat to appease their families or something.

creation

i was made fun of. yes, i know...hard to believe. but i WAS made fun of. About this pumpkin. I have made templates and did pumpkins out of them for years. I mean, before it was appropriate. i love this pumpkin and i know...it's stupid. I spent 2 hours on it, but who cares. this is what it turned out like. It's bad ass

evil halloween bunny

here is my halloween costume. I went to wal mart this a.m. with no intent to buy a Halloween outfit. but then i saw this. you see why I had to. on top of being cute and somewhat evil looking, his head lights up. But only if I shimmey.

It makes me happy....

It makes me happy that the saddest thing in my life right now...

is that Joaquin Phoenix just announced that he is not going to act anymore

a second to breathe

I've been going like a madwoman lately. nonstop. I actually took last night off...from life in general. I did cook, but that was good. I then sat, with a blanket on and reading a new book. It's called the Memory of Running. It's pretty intense, but very good. I'm not very far into it, because things happen in the book that you need to just sit there and process. I hope that grad school doesn't go like this for me.

I got letters today reminding me how NOT o.k. it is for me to take nights off. People wondering where the newest edition of my resume was, people wondering where I was, people wondering why I hadn't written back. Well people....I TOOK THE NIGHT OFF!

Don't worry, before 6am, I had woken up, read some, gone to spinning class, gone home, gotten ready, brought t to the car dealership, brought him home and gone to work.

I'm back.

is it better to think the worst?

A few things happened this week to make me ask this question. first of all, i have some friends, that have owed me money for quite some time and i have yet to see it. i heard from them that i would be getting it, and proceeded to tell someone this and they said, "yeah, but when will you really see it?" after thinking a while, I thought, "well, I really don't know when I'll see it, because i was supposed to see it a year ago". What would make me think that i would see it, other than sheer optimism on my part? I'm always quoting the dr. philism of "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior", but only this week am i realizing how much my human nature doesn't let me believe that.

i bought some halloween decorations and intended to put them outside. when i was showing t all of my goodies for the holiday, he asked where i was putting this one, that is CLEARLY supposed to go on your front door. I told him this and he looked horrified. "NO! someone will steal it"

This never occurred to me.

Then, we have some friends that are thinking about filling their pumpkins with cement so that kids won't take them and smash them!

REALLY?

oh my gosh, i can't believe I'm this naive. i kinda like it

today, part 2, and a different day

Today was the day, a year ago, when the "big thing" happened.

it was exciting, but most of all, it was scary, because without it, my dad was going to die, but with it, he might die anyway. it was scary because i realized i was grown up, but not so grown up that i didn't "need" my dad.

the day that lead up to this was even stranger. really surreal. it started on a saturday night when we went to this hockey ticket picking night. i was sure i was going to get the call to say they had a donor that night. t said no, it wouldn't be then. it wasn't. the next day, i was sitting around, walking in the basement doing something, when i thought, "oh my gosh, i just heard the phone ring, it must be my mom" i ran upstairs. silly me, the phone hadn't rung at all. i picked it up and walked downstairs with it and the second i got to the bottom step, it rang. it was the coordinator at the hospital, they had a possibility.

i didn't go to denver until late at night, after t had gone to bed. like 11pm. then i stayed up all night, watching the minuscule hospital tv. then 7am came. they got him all ready and then i panicked. inside, because i couldn't on the outside, but i came unglued inside. we had a posse of women members of the family to get us through the wait. it looked like the Joy Luck Club in the waiting room, i swear. it really was a beautiful thing. there are two times when i will always have vivid memories of what my family looked like at a certain point in time and that day is one of them.

i think back to the doctor. he has come out to tell families many times that their family members did fine, but he has also come out to tell them that things did not go as planned. his delivery to us was so, well, unsure, that it made all of our hearts skip a beat. we coudln't tell if things had been great or not. hell, if i'd completed a successful transplant, i'd be doing herkies down the hallway. he, apparently chose a more toned down approach.

fast forward to today. not without scares and more hospitals, but we are here. there's no saying how long we have, but we have weathered through a big part. we celebrated today by walking across the parking lot to mcdonalds. he ate the same thing that he ate, his first "real" meal after the surgery.

then:
me: what do you want to eat, dad?
him: a Big Mac, shake and fries
me: are you sure?
him: yes
me: you don't like that stuff
him: go get it

so, that is what we had. he didn't eat it all today, like he did the first time. well, he IS my dad and couldn't get around the grams of fat that are in it.

today

today, i decided to make mention of an event that happened a year ago today. it is huge, almost too big to put my head around, but i don't even know the person it happened to. i know that this person was young. from all indications, i know that this person liked macaroni and cheese, kentucky fried chicken, bean burritos and mcdonalds. This person took some time to think and think about what they wanted to be remembered for and what kind of person they were. that is all i know. that, and we owe my dad's life to that person.

tomorrow it will be a year. what a year it's been. i would venture to say one of the best that i've had in my adult life.

i'm so sorry to your family and to you, and to the life that you left behind. and thank you is not even close to what i really feel.

disturbia

conversation yesterday

me (walks into my mom's office with a work question)

waiting...waiting, because she is so intent on what she is working on the computer on, i know that she can't possibly be paying attention to me and the important thing i have to tell her.

me: "mom, i have something to ask you about"

her: (hesitating and thinking...hard) "o.k. hold on onnnnnnne second"

me: o.k.....what are you doing?

her: looking up my stripper name

me: exits the room....quickly

Rocks!

This stuff makes me salivate. seriously, one of the best inventions known to man

fatigue

The time has finally come where i can really start ramping up my excitment about something. you know, when you have a full work week and you are excited about things on a weekend, a girl doesn't want to think about the bliss too ahead of time....it makes the work week drag on. anyway, this weekend, we are redeeming our Cloud 9 certificate that tony's mom gave to us. Cloud 9 is a company, that says that they do "experience gifts" . they have a race car driving school, hot air balloon trips, trips with award winning photographers, etc. anyway, ours is a "floatation experience" followed by 2 hours of massage. i cannot wait. I'm a bit sketched out by the floatation experience, but hey, i'm up for it...whatever it is.

i'm having drinks with this woman that i was really good friends with. i haven't talked to her in some time. she is/was a wonderful person. i will say, we were very close, like more than a sisterly sense, but i honestly felt that this person was my girl soulmate type friend. she is wise, artistic and just peaceful. i really did love being around her. however, after she found a girlfriend (i admit, i aided in that endeavor, setting up her match.com account for her) things just diminished. she moved out of the house that she lovingly had redone with her mother and moved in to a newly built house with her girlfriend. then things fell apart. the relationship did, at least. so, she is back, living in town now. i rarely hear from her. i gave a lot to the friendship. i think she did too. but it is hard when at one time, you are so connected that you help someone get through a hard time in life, and then when you fall on those times...nothing. i feel somewhat bitter about it all. what i want to do is ask "why weren't you there for me?" but it's a moot point right now.

i'm very in sync with life right now, it feels like. i mean, i have a balance, a schedule, and a purpose to many things now that i didn't have before. i like life when you don't have to be "thinking"about things all the time, but they just happen. that is the mode that i'm in now. i love it

bountiful life

wow, there has just been a lot going on lately. i did my first running race this weekend. it was only 4 miles and was mainly more of a test of how I would run...at all. i never had really timed myself, or even saw what distance i was going, for that matter. i ended up with a great time, finished first in my age group and even more importantly, won a winter running hat. it was awesome. the best part of the entire race was the fact that t came to watch. it was extra motivation for me to do well, although in the beginning, i was like, "yeah, you should stay home". it really did wonders for me and made me strive for more. my butt and legs are feeling the "more" part today

we had friends over for dinner on saturday night. what a trip. it is so cool to see 12 year olds really start to grow up and "get" things. our friends boy was watching this comedian that we love. there are a lot of subtleties to this comedian, and it was just AWESOME to see this boy "get it".

we added 5 more frogs to the house this weekend. some, are smaller than my pinkie fingernail. they are so cute and one of them croaks throughout the night. i love it.

Update on Netflix

o.k. it WAS going well. Our second movie that was supposed to come was "Dead Again". Great movie for someone who hasn't seen it. I love it. anyway, it was supposed to come Saturday. Never did. so, i go on my netflix handy dandy queue and it tells me I've already seen it AND returned it (aren't i amazing?)

not the "free trial offer" i was looking for. I don't know about this thing. t tells me i'm getting, yes,"bent out of shape" about this for someone who hardly ever watches movies. i confess, i was really hopeful about it. we'll see

we got Netflix

well, we are in our trial period and received our first movie yesterday, which we promptly watched and then sent back to see how fast we get the next one.

We watched "Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden" by Morgan Spurlock. It was horrifying, not the movie itself, which was good, but the people and the thoughts that go through people's heads. not to get too into the whole thing, but it's a good lesson in what can happen if people just listen. this goes for elected officials and filters down to such a simple relationship as child and parent. If we just listened, a lot more could be done. people are fighting for the same things all over the world it seems, but their ideas are so skewed in one direction or the other, just depending on the geographic location of their birth. anyway, it was a good movie. not as good as supersize me, but still good.

come what may...

I don't know what it is about that movie. i really don't. not because it's not a good chick flick, but more because i HATE, no...loathe, chick flicks. i really do not like them. i don't like really romantic comedies either. Moulin Rouge is dark and i can use that as an excuse, but my favorite part is the part where he sings "come what may" it makes me cry. and i don't mean cry and then i'll watch it again, and be fine. no, after i have rewinded it 40 times and cried appropriately each time, i will look at that look in Ewan McGregors (sp?) eyes when he sings the beginning of that song and ...........he is just hurting. is he really? no, i get that he is acting, but he's doing a damn good job of it, running around singing sissy songs and dancing like a fool, and STILL being able to show that pain in his eyes. it's just good

back in reality

well, the afterglow of the trip has now worn off, we are back. this is our first full work week in, god only knows how long. dealing now with trying to schedule....life. it is not hard, but it seems like many times, it's two roommates that happen to live in this house with their 4 toads and 2 frogs...oh wait, now it's 6 toads and 3 frogs (after the rescue last night). we are exhausted 24 hours a day...yes, i know...even when we are still sleeping, we are already tired. November will be crazy. t is in tennessee for some event, is in denver for meeting after meeting. i'm here, doing the stuff. you know, that stuff you do when you find delicious time to yourself and you are done with everything else. i may watch moulin rouge 150 times.

wow, really? we're adopting?

a funny thing happened on the trip this past week. i was informed that we are adopting a child. i didn't say anything back, because well....i think my mouth had dropped on the floor permanently.

we were in the family house and t says, "well, when we adopt our baby from china (i can't finish this sentence because after these words were uttered, i have no idea what was said next)..."

then, fortunately, we also have the good graces to be friends with a couple that has adopted themselves....two times and ended up with some fantastic stories and unbelievable kids. we got an earful this weekend about things about adoption, videos to watch, agencies, etc.

i looked up the regulations and really, all it made me do was to realize how incredibly phenomenal the couple we know are. we knew that they were good and upstanding people, but wow, the requirements are above and beyond what i ever thought when i worked in the field myself. Honestly, 90% of my friends wouldn't qualify for an adoption.

work is just so hard right now

we took our last big vacation of the year. it was so fun, i cannot even describe it. We went to Minneapolis, went to Duluth, went to st. cloud, slept on cots, slept on sofas, drove in a car, rode on amusement park rides, skated, etc. it couldn't have been better. I had the best meal in my entire life there too. which really, if you know me, says a lot. i took off on tuesday too because t had an endoscopy. so, technically, yesterday was my first day back to reality. next week is going to blow.

so what?

Was reading today about a person that was lamenting what they could have done differently in life and how would life have turned out "if only....."

At first, my thought was, "Get over it! you made your choices" but then starting to think more about it...."what if _____"

What are your big "what ifs"? Would they have changed your life drastically, or maybe just a little. Is the just a little change enough to put you over the edge on the happiness or sadness scale? Mine are not big whopping "if only i had never met so and so", but merely "what if this had been said instead of this?" would it change your life? it could.....

the kids

the bliss of playing hooky

yesterday was truly wonderful. i mean, in the greatest sense of the word. i watched someone get a haircut. have you ever done that? not watched someone give you a haircut, but watched someone else get one? it's great. it really makes you realize, however, the fact that, there IS a reason why people should get paid good amounts of money to cut hair. i mean, not just you or i could do this feat (well, maybe you could, but i can't)

i went to a doctors appointment that was truly one of the most epic hilarities i have seen. this woman, i'm sure she was nice enough, but had not one iota of a clue why we were there. WE WERE THERE BECAUSE YOUR OFFICE TOLD US TO COME IN FOR A FOLLOW UP VISIT. your office called us to come in and tell us why my husbands guts seem to fall out when he eats anything that is not dots candy. DOES THAT RING A BELL? no, o.k. here is how part of the conversation went.
t: my cholesterol is 220
doc: yes, but since your hdls are high and you have no risk factors.....
t: my family history isn't a risk factor?
doc: you have a family history?
t: yes
doc: oh
t: so, since i do, are we going to do something?
doc: well, since you don't have any risk factors BLAH BLAH BLAH

then, we went to a bike store. it was an education, to say the least. what a place, what a knowledgeable guy. it made you want to race bikes, even if you didn't know how to ride a Big Wheel. we bought me a sexy helmet which i will take pictures of, apparently the other one made me (these are not my words) look like i was getting ready to embark on a ride on the short bus.

which is better?

I think that there is a time in life when you can say, "wow, people think of me in ______ way"

like, you can say that for the most part, people think you are a good person, or that people think you are a jerk, or that most people think you are selfish, etc.

i'll say that for me, i've thought, "i think that people think i'm a good person" i don't try to be, i don't overexert myself giving flowery gifts to people and expecting to be put on a pedestal because of it. But, i am nice and will give when i can to help someone out, put their mind at ease, or give of my time to make their time more enjoyable.

what do you do though when you realize the consensus is that of "people think i am a bad person" whether it be because of major things or minor.

then what if you change? are you changing yourself to be how others want you to be, and in turn, isn't this exactly the opposite of being an individual? isn't this what our parents always told us NOT to do?

what if you are just not a nice person?

the birthday

i really have it quite easy. t just barely even remembers that it's his birthday. i mean, i think if he were going to be at the house sitting around with no one else to remind him....he may completely forget it. however, i do not complain because, anything i do makes it seem like an incredibly big occassion and like i planned for weeks.

i was going to do a surprise party, but it is on labor day weekend and i figured people would be gone and away doing other things. instead, i am getting him some very classy and mature gifts.

1. a homer simpson mosaic
2. the old school dvd of sesame street

important conversations

i have had to work on something. that something being, interrupting when someone in the house is clearly relaxing. relaxing = watching tv.

last night, i was reading this article about the small convention that we are having in Denver right now. it was about how there was an assassination plot and how the police had disengaged that plot. i thought it was facisnatingly horrible, but something that i had said might happen in Denver. i tear out of the office, just so wanting to discuss this news. i start talking a mile a minute explaining everything. i get this look (it's not a mean look, just a "you are doing it again" look). i go, "oops, sorry...." and go back to making my dinner. i think, "wow, it must be something really important on tv".

after a few minutes, i hear something about Bono having the biggest poop. he is watching a south park episode about poop.

day three

this morning the alarm was set...i was ready to go. but i decided to stay in the bed. much better decision for two reasons. i have a business photo i have to take this afternoon. i can assure you, me getting ready at home looks much different than me getting ready at the gym.

i did go to the gym last night. i did do the pilates class. to be honest, i just have to say, i wasn't THAT impressed. i mean, i have to say, i am NOT coordinated and i don't have balance either. both of these together should both say, "you will not do well at pilates" but i either was doing everything wrong, or maybe i just have a body made for only doing pilates. it was really easy.

I called the gym we belong too as well. i wanted to give them a fair shot at being in the game. it would only cost us $10 each a month to do the full membership. i think i have my answer.

day two

day two started off much the same as day one, except with some organizational skills at extreme use. i had a bag packed, a towel, so i wouldn't have air dry myself and some makeup so that i didn't wake the living dead after working out. i came with my two quarters, stepped up to the "good" locker, as opposed to the evil one that loomed next to it, that ate the quarters yesterday...it at my quarters. i then took my 10' by 10' bag and lugged it around to every machine i could find. i just DARED them to come and ask me why i had the gigantic bag when there are very nice, easy to use lockers, just right inside. but they didn't. you may ask, 'why didn't you go to the front desk to ask for help?' same guy was there as yesterday. i didnt think his unhelping a%@ was going to help me today, so i just did what i needed to. i am doing a pilates class tonight, so help me God.

the nemesis

another locker at the gym ate my quarter again

hmmmm

i have to pay my gym membership fees at the end of this week. we currently are at a place that is really quite nice. i know we don't use the bulk of it, as it is very family friendly, kind of like a country club, without the golf. usually what happens is that we pay for both of us to go, three months at a time. what happens from that point... is that i am the only person that uses it. t usually has too much work to do and will lift weights or use the bowflex at home.

the other thing that we do, is that we have a limited membership. this means, we are only allowed to go there at certain times of the day. "early" which to them means 7am to 9am or "late" which means 8:30pm to 10:30pm. the early just is not early enough for me. i'm at work by 7am, so that doesn't fly. that leaves me to go home after work and get comfy, and settled, and ahhhhh, THEN GET UP AND WORK OUT.

i started thinking about how nice it would be to work out in the a.m. and then also have the option of doing fun classes in the p.m. i went to 24 hours fitness and got a 7 day membership. i went last night and joined, then went to work out afterwards. it was fine, plenty of people but plenty of machines.

i did the unthinkable and got up at 4:30am and went to go work out at 5am. i got there and until i decided to get a full membership, i decided to use the pay lockers. i put my two quarters in and...nothing. they were lost. i went out to the front desk and this guy seriously looked at me like i was a goon. he stared at me and didn't say a word after i told him my dilemma. i said, "can you do something about that?" he looks intently...and answers "NO" i said, "so you are telling me that i'm trying out your gym for a week and you are not going to reimburse me 50 cents that i put into your gym that your machine ate, so that i may work out at your facility? you are really going to have me not work out and have to go home instead when i woke up at 4:30 to be here?" he says, "yeah, i mean...i don't have anything that i can do"

i left. went to my car and sat there. weighed my options. i could either have this guy ruin the rest of my day by having me have the ammunition to bitch about how "i didn't get to work out because of this guy" or i could simply take 50 cents out of my purse and go back in and try it again. which i did.

really? that is why?

they just don't mix

PLUS

these two things are just not supposed to be together. o.k. fine if you are at home and if the person that is on the phone does not mind the fact that you are sitting on the pot.

i am at work the other day and we have public restrooms in the building. i walk in and a woman is on her cell phone in the bathroom. not in a stall or anything of that sort, but just pacing around the sink area, in a very deep conversation. now, i go into a stall. i kind of have some pee anxiety or something because i know that there is a person listening, inadvertantly to this. on top of ALL OF THAT, this lady is very anxious because apparently she and the person on the phone have done something together that they should have told this other person about before they did it. OH THE ANGST!!!!!

summer in colorado

mmmmm, freshly cut.......

sick

Wednesday, Aug 13, 2008 9:15 pm EDT

Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories per day
By Chris Chase
After he retires from swimming, Michael Phelps might want to try his hand at competitive eating. The Olympic star recently said he consumes 12,000 calories per day, or 9,500 more than the FDA recommends for an active, young male.

Phelps has to keep his intake up in order to compensate for all the calories he burns during the 30-hours per week he spends in training. He told NBC that an average day might have the following menu:

Breakfast: 3 fried egg sandwiches, 2 cups coffee, 5-egg omlette, bowl of grits, 3 pieces of french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes

Lunch: 1 pound pasta, 2 ham and cheese sandwiches, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Dinner: 1 pound pasta, 1 large pizza, energy drink (1,000 calorie)

Three years ago, Phelps told an interviewer:

I eat pretty much whatever I want. I don't have a strict diet. It's all about cramming in as many calories into my system as I possibly can. To be honest with you, I have a tough time keeping weight on.

-all i have to say to this is...sick

There are no goodbyes for us.
Wherever you are,
You will always be in my heart.
Gandhi

just...the best

I think i could eat this all day. no really...all day

excitement rather than chaos

i chose this week to rethink/relook at things. it is amazing. this is by far, or at least should be, one of the most stressful, exhausting times ever. We are taxed beyond belief, with work, life, things. instead of freaking out about them (as MAY have happened in the past) i have looked more internally. looked more at what has brought us to this point and how lucky we are to even be SO busy. we really are. it's amazing how much a little positivity helps your life out.

do you remember

Do you remember when you were a kid, all you wanted to do was grow up?






















All i want to do is be a kid!

Armani

I sold another item on craigslist the other day. it was an Armani suit that had been passed onto me. In all honesty, besides being a bit dated, the suit looked brand new. i had never worn it and i don't know if the woman that had it before me had worn it, but she was a woman of clothing and i wouldn't doubt that the suit was never put on, except to be tried on. i put this all documented in my ad. never claimed to have thoroughly inspected the suit at all, but that i was trying to get rid of it.

i get a scathing email from the woman that bought it. how dare i sell her something that i had represented as new (i didn't) and didn't i know that a moth had eaten a hold in the sleeve (no, i didn't). she reported a dispute against me at paypal before i even responded to the first unsavory email saying, "new item significantly not like as described"

i refunded her money with a sweet note attached saying how truly sorry i was and yes, if i had noticed the moth spot, i absolutely would have not sold her the suit. but i did tell her to return the suit to me, so that i could try to sell it to another unsuspecting sucker. im kidding. but really, people are SO on edge and so quick to judge these days.

i had just been talking to other people about this same thing. i was going to send a friend a newsstory that i had read about a husband getting folded up in a hide a bed and dying after he and his wife had had a fight. i thought it was, not funny, but a weird story and i was going to send it to a friend because the irony of the whole thing was amazing. well, i decided not to...only for the reason, that with my accident prone husband, i didn't want something to happen to him, by his own doing, and have them raid my emails and see that i was looking at this hide a bed story.

how sad is life when everyone assumes the worst about people? i always assume the best, unless they have shown me the worst and even then, i will say, i have moments of weakness and glimmers of hope that their best will shine through for me.

Realizing

how crazy life is. How messed up is it that i go to work at 6am, i get home around 5pm, i start doing random house things, such as making cornbread muffins, not at all cleaning up as i go, work out to a hideous billy blanks in even more hideous tie tyed torn shorts, and then crash into bed?

o.k., so maybe i skated

well, St. paul was this weekend and really, i think it is the most fun time throughout the year. I went with no intention of skating. I mean, i can't. my butt is broken still. we met up with Brad and Mary and Luke and Tess (pics to follow) and Brad was devastated. he was diagnosed with asthma in feb. at the age of 45 and after every race, well...it gets bad for a week or so. He was hacking up his lungs so much that he went to the doc and the doc said, "you cannot race this race coming up or the weekend after" brad's world crumbled a little.

he comes to meet us at the expo with a "renewed" outlook. and says, "you didn't bring your skates, did you (insert hopeful look here)?" No, i answered. he says with a smile, "my doc told me I coudln't race....(smirk) he didn't say i couldn't skate"

lo and behold, less than 24 hours later, I find myself at the start of the st. Paul marathon. i had some new cheap skates (78mm wheels), borrowed everything else and i was ready to go. at some point after mile 6 or so, i was feeling like i was done. told brad that i was just going to get a ride back to the start (that is what happens when your tailbone starts burning from pushing up hills on miniscule wheels). he would have nothing of it. not because he wouldn't finish, but more because he is a standup guy that wouldn't even leave me in the very capable hands of the cops that were stationed there. we skated to the start area again (12 miles)and i slowed down, was stopped by mary and the kids and proceeded to watch the rest of the race. highlights: t getting his BEST TIME EVER!!! 1:35:44 BABY!
The kids: you will see pics soon and understand
The food: fuddruckers afterwards.

ahhhh

letting go

my emotions have now gotten the best of me. the big toad just doesn't want to be with me anymore. I must....*sigh* let him go.

he is clawing at his terrarium nonstop. he really doesn't like it. the little guy is happy as a clam. he doesn't know about outside life really....he likes being fed crickets and the such by someone and hopping behind his plant and sitting in his water. who wouldn't

bonding

so, Saturday, we are outside catching crickets for Todd. Tony says, "oh no". I say, "what?" he is holding something in his hands. he says, "I will let you look, but you are going to want it then" so, i go. there is the smallest toad, i can imagine. it is so tiny, about the size of a dime. we keep him.

last night, after holding the baby one for a while, i put him in the tank, with the top off, because he's so small, he can't get out. i go across the entire house, to the office. I'm there for about an hour or so. all of the sudden something, or someone, jumps on my foot. it is little one. he went, what would be in frog land, miles to come to the office. so many obstacles were in his way, t driving the remote control car, me in my rolling chair....ugh! he could have been squished. i think i love him

hmmmm

"Love wasn't a thing you fell in, but rose to.
It was what stopped you from falling."
--Darin Strauss

got him

meet Todd Toffomoto

o.k., this is not really him, he is much cuter. i'll post the pictures later

cute

"Quite a few people in the world have seen my penis," he says from his home in Los Angeles. "So that's kinda cool. I'm just a normal kid living it up and doing the best I can while I'm here."
- kid from Nirvana cover

only from my mom

We're in a training class on a new computer program that we are learning yesterday. it's my mom's birthday, and we are all in sort of a giddy mood because of it. Anyway, we are on a conference call with a lady named Shanteeka in FL. Shan is a no nonsense lady. she specifically told us that our call would last an hour and 10 minutes and i'll be damned if it didn't....to the very minute.

So, shan is explaining that we can look on a google map and grab the red icon with our mouse, and move it all over. my mom yells out, "With our Mouths?"

now that i want one

i can't. the toads are being elusive. if i could have done it i would have filmed last night. i was out at 9pm in the yard, with a flashlight and gardening gloves searching for my toad. he is being sneaky....bastard

cute as a....

i want this pig so bad...i mean, i would sell my car for it

awesome

i have pms

oops

i got called out on some crap i was pulling. unfortunately, i would say that this time, it was totally true. i do have to work on it, and it really wasn't being fair. that being said, the person that called me out on it, does the same thing. i mentioned this myself to them. They said that i should tell them to knock it off, but honestly, it never really bothered me. i think that everyone has insecurities and it's how you deal with them that makes the differences.

i found a need for something in my life

a few things i like

1. when my dad goes to the office vending machine and buys the horrific orange colored cheese and peanut butter crackers and throws them on my desk because "you need a snack"

2. when t comes in the room when i'm getting ready and just says, "wow, you look GOOD munks"

3. when the tree you thought had died sprouts two light green, reaching for the sun, gonna make it, leaves.

4. when t is talking about someone that he thought was cute and throws in the comment, "but you are way better"

5. when my mom does the most horrendous job parking her car...every time she parks.

6. the toads that i have found in our yard.

7. the thought of the fact that my dad and i will be in a car for 14 hours together in a few days

8. when people say thank you for things that i didn't think were a big deal

9. when someone tells me something before anyone else.

10. when i am laughing

if you ever needed to know about life....

now that's my idea of a good list

please, please....

i told you