my friend called me the other day. we chit chatted and i moaned about some inconsequential stuff going on in life. and then she asked me...."were you baptized in the Catholic Church?"
i honestly forget about this part of my life, at times. yes, in fact, i was. and it wasn't at a time when i was an infant and didn't have a choice, or when i was younger and was "made" to go to the church. no, it was when i was a fully consenting adult at the age of 25. the purpose? while it may not have been the best one, i realize now, but it was the only way that i was going to marry the person i thought i was supposed to marry. not only was his family extremely religious, but being best friends with the Bishop of the area always raises it up a notch. it wasn't a question....in order to have this happen, i was going to have to convert.
convert from what? i don't know. i was baptized at the age of 12 or so...but i liken it to a family fad. we had gone to this church for about 4 years and then stopped going shortly after i turned 15 and had a mind of my own and could be stubborn enough not to go.
so, convert, i did. i went to classes every week; church, like it was going out of style and that's just the way it went. after that time, yes, we got married, and we went to church. every weekend. but i found my old doubts coming in....why did we have to go every weekend? why did we always have to go to the same church? why did we have to go to a spanish mass, when HEY! I'M THE NEW ONE HERE! not going to do me any good to hear a mass that i can't understand.
i found that my biggest issue was faith...and questioning. i didn't have that innately built into my being. i couldn't understand how a following of people could take some things SO literally. did they really believe that these miracles really happened? i had countless conversations with, maybe the wrong people, about this. mostly, it was my in-laws, and really they just thought i was a heathen for even questioning these things.
i went to a church service last night at the buddhist temple in honor my great-uncle and my grandma last night. there is a minister that performs these services for us, that is a woman and a minister in the buddhist temple....not something you see everyday. but her faith oozes out of her. and not annoyingly, but in the most calm and sure way. it's really amazing to see.
i think that will be what i strive for in every realm. FAITH. How do you get it when you don't have it?
Monday, October 25, 2010
if i could have a second...
i could actually write something!
the week is off and running. I worked 13 hours today. that's all i really need to say about that. my co-worker was gone and when that happens, i pick up the slack for the east coast stores. For some reason, the whole east coast and puerto rico decided to hire everyone, along with their moms and their dogs today. NOT a good day! the problem is that tomorrow and wednesday, I'm going to be at a class. her being gone made me realize that I don't want to put her through that...so i've spent the day debating on the class. I think i'm going, but we'll see. it's a general HR fundamentals class, so it should be good.
this weekend was a great time. Saturday, we had an impromptu "party" of sorts and had everyone over for Tater Tot Hot Dish. yes, you read correctly. it really was a hit and I made some of the famous pumpkin muffins that have disappeared two times in our household (in a weekend). tony performed his magic cork trick and everyone was entertained. well, maybe not, but i was. anyway, i had a great convo with a friend that is experiencing some of the same things i am and WHEW, let me tell you, it was such a relief to talk to someone who is in the same boat on a few things. it really was a great time. such a great time though, that i had a little too much wine and wasn't feeling so toasty the next morning!
and that, my friend, is all for now. because it's 9:30 and I'm going to go to bed...
the week is off and running. I worked 13 hours today. that's all i really need to say about that. my co-worker was gone and when that happens, i pick up the slack for the east coast stores. For some reason, the whole east coast and puerto rico decided to hire everyone, along with their moms and their dogs today. NOT a good day! the problem is that tomorrow and wednesday, I'm going to be at a class. her being gone made me realize that I don't want to put her through that...so i've spent the day debating on the class. I think i'm going, but we'll see. it's a general HR fundamentals class, so it should be good.
this weekend was a great time. Saturday, we had an impromptu "party" of sorts and had everyone over for Tater Tot Hot Dish. yes, you read correctly. it really was a hit and I made some of the famous pumpkin muffins that have disappeared two times in our household (in a weekend). tony performed his magic cork trick and everyone was entertained. well, maybe not, but i was. anyway, i had a great convo with a friend that is experiencing some of the same things i am and WHEW, let me tell you, it was such a relief to talk to someone who is in the same boat on a few things. it really was a great time. such a great time though, that i had a little too much wine and wasn't feeling so toasty the next morning!
and that, my friend, is all for now. because it's 9:30 and I'm going to go to bed...
Saturday, October 16, 2010
what's been goin' on...
trying to be o.k. with relaxing this weekend. still did a workout and all that jazz, but i've started on a scarf with some awesome yarn. yes, you saw right, it has sequins in it. because doesn't eveyone need a sequin scarf???
one step closer...maybe
just wanted to let you all know that something may or may not be in the works in terms of me finding something i am passionate about. i'm so excited, i can't stand it. i do know that it may turn into nothing, so i'm having to try to keep it down a bit. it would be huge for me and quite a big change in life. more later!
Friday, October 15, 2010
resolution
so....the dilemma from yesterday was handled, with WAY more tact and class than i knew i had. and i'm done. i did a slight variation of what was suggested and what I had in my head, and it just came out sounding happy and "wish i was there" kind of.
yesterday: i had to go somewhere with a group of people.
it's always so apparent when you aren't a "cool" kid, isn't it? these people are wondering, as i am, why is this girl (me) there?
what i was not so fond of, was 1. the cast down glances at my purse, which instead of being a big flowery suitcase that is all the rage now, is a small, sleek little italian bag 2. the constant referral to me as "that girl" or "she", when i'm standing right there. 3. the way that i was in a conversation with someone totally different about something and one of them came up on the tail end of a conversation letting me know that she "would rather die" than claim she went to the school that i did and 4. having two of them start talking about me when i was a foot away from them.
yes, i was cast back to a time...well, no...i wasn't. i've not experienced a time like this ever...in my childhood or my adult life. is it unbearable, no. annoying, yes.
yesterday: i had to go somewhere with a group of people.
it's always so apparent when you aren't a "cool" kid, isn't it? these people are wondering, as i am, why is this girl (me) there?
what i was not so fond of, was 1. the cast down glances at my purse, which instead of being a big flowery suitcase that is all the rage now, is a small, sleek little italian bag 2. the constant referral to me as "that girl" or "she", when i'm standing right there. 3. the way that i was in a conversation with someone totally different about something and one of them came up on the tail end of a conversation letting me know that she "would rather die" than claim she went to the school that i did and 4. having two of them start talking about me when i was a foot away from them.
yes, i was cast back to a time...well, no...i wasn't. i've not experienced a time like this ever...in my childhood or my adult life. is it unbearable, no. annoying, yes.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
PARTY TIME!!!!
what would you do?
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
Monday, October 11, 2010
the newest best thing in the world
i would show you a picture, however, i don't have one...why? because it's all gone. i did limit myself and consumed it in a very slow process...of a couple months. but still. i find myself dreaming of this:
Image via WikipediaMy favorite one is the Maple Almond Butter, but i'm a sucker for Almond Butters. this one is so subtly salted that when you take a bite, the salt hits at a very specific time, each bite. t is always talking about how people discontinue things that he likes. i can honestly say that this is one of the only things i would care about if they discontinued. for real.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
i need a novel
Image via Wikipediai had a conversation with my friend the other day and while talking, she made this profound statement and it stuck with me. we talked about how it was strange that an ex of hers still kept in touch with her, yet never brought up the fact that she has a daughter now. it almost seems like if he didn't bring the daughter up, it was like she had never had her or something. anyway, we were talking about how weird that was and how, although my friend is NOT all about talking about her child every second of the day (because she's cool like that), that at least acknowledging the fact that she now has a child, is likely in order. anyway, in the midst of this convo, my friend made a very profound statement. it went something to the effect of, "i mean, some people write novels or discover things or something amazing during their life time....i mean, she (her daughter) is MY novel". well put, i thought...and when she said it, it gave me warm fuzzy feelings too, which is a bonus.
it really got me thinking about things. i mean, when thinking of my mom, i guess I was probably her novel too, as is the case with many parents, i'm sure. most parents, when asked, would say that their children are their biggest accomplishment. but what about the rest of the people? i mean, what about the other people who DO have a novel or other big thing? and more importantly and relavent...i don't have a novel.
after the past few days of not being at work, it's put a lot in perspective. in the beginning, i thought that the job was the hardest one i had ever done. now, after time, it's become apparent that it's really not...and that instead of having to have amazing organizational skills and special talents, that maybe you just have to catch on and have a memory of a process...that you are going to repeat over, and over, and over again. it's a job that you don't really need any special training for at all and in reality, the person that i'm "replacing", started it pretty much right out of high school and has "outgrown" it. and i know, in a while, i could be put in another job...but i'm even thinking about how that, doesn't even really seem very purposeful.
so, i'm learning...i need a life full of purpose and making a difference. whereas, when i was a school counselor, maybe some people viewed it as a hack job, i knew i was making a difference. i knew that at least one time a day, some child felt special that i had taken some time to talk to them and care. i know that today, when i see one boy in particular in the local grocery store that he works in (he's now in high school), that he remembers me and says hi. in real estate, you could go the extra mile and make someone's experience a good one, so that they would recommend you, and so that they would have a fantastic expereince when everyone else was having bad ones. when i was an adoption worker, well, you can only guess how you touch people's lives in that way.
but while the schedule is overwhelmed, my life is underwhelmed....and i need to change that around. i need my novel.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
thrifty!
some of you may remember a while back, i think it's been about two years, when i was coupon happy. I mean, i was nuts. but i was determined that i wasn't going to do what most people do, and buy a whole bunch of stuff that i wouldn't normally, just because i had a coupon. so, i didn't.
i am happy to say that because i stocked up on things that we needed and I knew that we would need in the future, that we still haven't run out of most things in our house. i'm only realizing the ramifications of it now, as we are getting closer to the point where we are going to need to restock. but seriously, the weekends spent clipping and the few trips to K-Mart when they had triple coupons...all worth it.
what does this mean for me? It's meant not going to the grocery store and paying top price for shampoo when i ran out, or shaving cream, or dishwashing detergent, or aluminum foil....the list goes on. it's meant that when i'm at a store and i see something that i use on a sale, i buy it then, rather than waiting...because in the end, i'm spending that money....on gas and on the higher price. this discovery was awesome. i seriously didn't realize how profound it would be...until this time. but wow, was it worth it. i'm going to do another run of it again. you never know when stores will go out of business or stop doing triple coupons....so it's worth it.
i am happy to say that because i stocked up on things that we needed and I knew that we would need in the future, that we still haven't run out of most things in our house. i'm only realizing the ramifications of it now, as we are getting closer to the point where we are going to need to restock. but seriously, the weekends spent clipping and the few trips to K-Mart when they had triple coupons...all worth it.
what does this mean for me? It's meant not going to the grocery store and paying top price for shampoo when i ran out, or shaving cream, or dishwashing detergent, or aluminum foil....the list goes on. it's meant that when i'm at a store and i see something that i use on a sale, i buy it then, rather than waiting...because in the end, i'm spending that money....on gas and on the higher price. this discovery was awesome. i seriously didn't realize how profound it would be...until this time. but wow, was it worth it. i'm going to do another run of it again. you never know when stores will go out of business or stop doing triple coupons....so it's worth it.
Friday, October 8, 2010
end of summer
it's finally fall here! and i'm so excited. the chill in the air is amazing and just what i've been waiting for. so, here is a goodbye to summer. i forgot to post this picture from my san fran trip. it was beautiful
the past few days!
have been interesting to say the least. Thursday came and throughout some stroke of luck, i found myself with some time on my hands. t had been gone and was coming back that night...i was going to pick him up. first, i was trying to think about what i was going to do with this free time??? there were so many options...but before i could think of them, i decided to go deposit a check. on the way, i heard this POP noise from my tire. The first thing i did was pull into a gas station and look at the tire. holy LUCK, it was fine.
today, it got fixed...but in the midst of the day, i was walking and seriously almost fell on the floor. i couldn't walk upright without shooting pain in my lower back. my muscles are all SO sore! i guess cardio doesn't prepare you for the intricacies of changing a tire!
we closed on our refinance for our home. YAY!!! $200 less a month on our mortgage! SO excited for that and totally worth the 3 month wait to get it done! Also, no mortgage payments for the next TWO nonths. WOOOO HOOOO!!!!
i did my errands, then came home, only to get out and hear a hissing sound. by hissing, it was LOUD and fast. i look and see the tear from the piece of metal lodged in my tire. i write to t, and ask what i should do. i went from neighbor to neighbor, seeking help, but finding none, had to change the tire on my own. now, i had learned how to do this before and in fact, I was the one that had changed my ex-husbands tire in the middle of el paso in the dark of night. however, that was 10 years ago. i wasn't up on my "changing tire" skills, people.
So, i got out the manual. and did it. i got to the locked nut on the wheel and seriously, could not, for the life of me, get the damn thing off. I was using all of my weight to pull up on the thing. i called my dad and asked "how do you get the special screw off" and finding no reason to do otherwise, yanked up as hard as i could...therefore freeing the "special screw". I know you are all impressed with my mechanical accumen.
i call the dealership and tire stores and none of them have the damn thing in and i have to wait...til the next day (today) at 2. so, i figured that i would take a much needed day off from work and enjoy the time. i did, however, have to go get t at the airport and what was i going to drive? i had been WARNED up and down by the dealership that i should, in no way, drive the car with the donut tire on it, for long distances and to even be careful on the turns. i should know by now, that t was going to argue that point...which he did, so there i took off, with my gimpy car, to the airport.
today, it got fixed...but in the midst of the day, i was walking and seriously almost fell on the floor. i couldn't walk upright without shooting pain in my lower back. my muscles are all SO sore! i guess cardio doesn't prepare you for the intricacies of changing a tire!
we closed on our refinance for our home. YAY!!! $200 less a month on our mortgage! SO excited for that and totally worth the 3 month wait to get it done! Also, no mortgage payments for the next TWO nonths. WOOOO HOOOO!!!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
i don't know what to say about this right now.....
there have been very few times when i've just referred to a post and not had something to say. i just don't right now. THIS post made me second guess a lot right now.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
weirdness all around
this week has been weird. i'll just say it. it may be because t had a big presentation last week, was on call over the weekend, then is gone. but it's been weird.
over the weekend, i convinced him to go to the Ben Folds concert with the Colorado Symphony. you may gasp, but i've never heard the symphony. i'll just say that now, i know...everything is better with strings. i mean, it pulled at your heart WAY more than any old concert. he played almost all the songs i loved....except:
but he did play "The Luckiest". This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Literally. i would play this at my wedding...that we aren't having. but if we had one...this would be my song.
it was amazing. one of the best concerts i have been to.
on another note, i did some baking this weekend. i would post pictures...but the cupcakes that i baked...are gone. yes. 18 of them. gone. just so you know, they were good. these were them, before they were frosted , THESE were them. i'll just say, a little frosting goes a long way. one batch of frosting is WAY too much, in my opinion.
today, something a little stranger happened.
i got an email from a grad school friend that asked if I recognized this girl (the website with the girl on followed). i looked at the picture, before i found out what happened. and yes, i recognized her face. she was someone we went to school with and she was a DA in Austin. she had just had a baby and had postpartum depression and she killed herself last friday.
granted, i didn't know this person...if at all. i knew her face and i know that at this point, my life is very much inundated with babies. those were likely the two most prevalent things that we had in common, besides going to the same school. granted, obviously, we're not thinking of babies right now. but i can only think of that time as being a really exciting one. it was eye-opening and scary to think of it any other way. it made me wonder, didn't people notice, didn't someone try to get her help???? but maybe they did and there was nothing "they" could do.
over the weekend, i convinced him to go to the Ben Folds concert with the Colorado Symphony. you may gasp, but i've never heard the symphony. i'll just say that now, i know...everything is better with strings. i mean, it pulled at your heart WAY more than any old concert. he played almost all the songs i loved....except:
but he did play "The Luckiest". This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Literally. i would play this at my wedding...that we aren't having. but if we had one...this would be my song.
it was amazing. one of the best concerts i have been to.
today, something a little stranger happened.
i got an email from a grad school friend that asked if I recognized this girl (the website with the girl on followed). i looked at the picture, before i found out what happened. and yes, i recognized her face. she was someone we went to school with and she was a DA in Austin. she had just had a baby and had postpartum depression and she killed herself last friday.
granted, i didn't know this person...if at all. i knew her face and i know that at this point, my life is very much inundated with babies. those were likely the two most prevalent things that we had in common, besides going to the same school. granted, obviously, we're not thinking of babies right now. but i can only think of that time as being a really exciting one. it was eye-opening and scary to think of it any other way. it made me wonder, didn't people notice, didn't someone try to get her help???? but maybe they did and there was nothing "they" could do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
the question of the week....
my friend called me the other day. we chit chatted and i moaned about some inconsequential stuff going on in life. and then she asked me...."were you baptized in the Catholic Church?"
i honestly forget about this part of my life, at times. yes, in fact, i was. and it wasn't at a time when i was an infant and didn't have a choice, or when i was younger and was "made" to go to the church. no, it was when i was a fully consenting adult at the age of 25. the purpose? while it may not have been the best one, i realize now, but it was the only way that i was going to marry the person i thought i was supposed to marry. not only was his family extremely religious, but being best friends with the Bishop of the area always raises it up a notch. it wasn't a question....in order to have this happen, i was going to have to convert.
convert from what? i don't know. i was baptized at the age of 12 or so...but i liken it to a family fad. we had gone to this church for about 4 years and then stopped going shortly after i turned 15 and had a mind of my own and could be stubborn enough not to go.
so, convert, i did. i went to classes every week; church, like it was going out of style and that's just the way it went. after that time, yes, we got married, and we went to church. every weekend. but i found my old doubts coming in....why did we have to go every weekend? why did we always have to go to the same church? why did we have to go to a spanish mass, when HEY! I'M THE NEW ONE HERE! not going to do me any good to hear a mass that i can't understand.
i found that my biggest issue was faith...and questioning. i didn't have that innately built into my being. i couldn't understand how a following of people could take some things SO literally. did they really believe that these miracles really happened? i had countless conversations with, maybe the wrong people, about this. mostly, it was my in-laws, and really they just thought i was a heathen for even questioning these things.
i went to a church service last night at the buddhist temple in honor my great-uncle and my grandma last night. there is a minister that performs these services for us, that is a woman and a minister in the buddhist temple....not something you see everyday. but her faith oozes out of her. and not annoyingly, but in the most calm and sure way. it's really amazing to see.
i think that will be what i strive for in every realm. FAITH. How do you get it when you don't have it?
i honestly forget about this part of my life, at times. yes, in fact, i was. and it wasn't at a time when i was an infant and didn't have a choice, or when i was younger and was "made" to go to the church. no, it was when i was a fully consenting adult at the age of 25. the purpose? while it may not have been the best one, i realize now, but it was the only way that i was going to marry the person i thought i was supposed to marry. not only was his family extremely religious, but being best friends with the Bishop of the area always raises it up a notch. it wasn't a question....in order to have this happen, i was going to have to convert.
convert from what? i don't know. i was baptized at the age of 12 or so...but i liken it to a family fad. we had gone to this church for about 4 years and then stopped going shortly after i turned 15 and had a mind of my own and could be stubborn enough not to go.
so, convert, i did. i went to classes every week; church, like it was going out of style and that's just the way it went. after that time, yes, we got married, and we went to church. every weekend. but i found my old doubts coming in....why did we have to go every weekend? why did we always have to go to the same church? why did we have to go to a spanish mass, when HEY! I'M THE NEW ONE HERE! not going to do me any good to hear a mass that i can't understand.
i found that my biggest issue was faith...and questioning. i didn't have that innately built into my being. i couldn't understand how a following of people could take some things SO literally. did they really believe that these miracles really happened? i had countless conversations with, maybe the wrong people, about this. mostly, it was my in-laws, and really they just thought i was a heathen for even questioning these things.
i went to a church service last night at the buddhist temple in honor my great-uncle and my grandma last night. there is a minister that performs these services for us, that is a woman and a minister in the buddhist temple....not something you see everyday. but her faith oozes out of her. and not annoyingly, but in the most calm and sure way. it's really amazing to see.
i think that will be what i strive for in every realm. FAITH. How do you get it when you don't have it?
if i could have a second...
i could actually write something!
the week is off and running. I worked 13 hours today. that's all i really need to say about that. my co-worker was gone and when that happens, i pick up the slack for the east coast stores. For some reason, the whole east coast and puerto rico decided to hire everyone, along with their moms and their dogs today. NOT a good day! the problem is that tomorrow and wednesday, I'm going to be at a class. her being gone made me realize that I don't want to put her through that...so i've spent the day debating on the class. I think i'm going, but we'll see. it's a general HR fundamentals class, so it should be good.
this weekend was a great time. Saturday, we had an impromptu "party" of sorts and had everyone over for Tater Tot Hot Dish. yes, you read correctly. it really was a hit and I made some of the famous pumpkin muffins that have disappeared two times in our household (in a weekend). tony performed his magic cork trick and everyone was entertained. well, maybe not, but i was. anyway, i had a great convo with a friend that is experiencing some of the same things i am and WHEW, let me tell you, it was such a relief to talk to someone who is in the same boat on a few things. it really was a great time. such a great time though, that i had a little too much wine and wasn't feeling so toasty the next morning!
and that, my friend, is all for now. because it's 9:30 and I'm going to go to bed...
the week is off and running. I worked 13 hours today. that's all i really need to say about that. my co-worker was gone and when that happens, i pick up the slack for the east coast stores. For some reason, the whole east coast and puerto rico decided to hire everyone, along with their moms and their dogs today. NOT a good day! the problem is that tomorrow and wednesday, I'm going to be at a class. her being gone made me realize that I don't want to put her through that...so i've spent the day debating on the class. I think i'm going, but we'll see. it's a general HR fundamentals class, so it should be good.
this weekend was a great time. Saturday, we had an impromptu "party" of sorts and had everyone over for Tater Tot Hot Dish. yes, you read correctly. it really was a hit and I made some of the famous pumpkin muffins that have disappeared two times in our household (in a weekend). tony performed his magic cork trick and everyone was entertained. well, maybe not, but i was. anyway, i had a great convo with a friend that is experiencing some of the same things i am and WHEW, let me tell you, it was such a relief to talk to someone who is in the same boat on a few things. it really was a great time. such a great time though, that i had a little too much wine and wasn't feeling so toasty the next morning!
and that, my friend, is all for now. because it's 9:30 and I'm going to go to bed...
what's been goin' on...
trying to be o.k. with relaxing this weekend. still did a workout and all that jazz, but i've started on a scarf with some awesome yarn. yes, you saw right, it has sequins in it. because doesn't eveyone need a sequin scarf???
one step closer...maybe
just wanted to let you all know that something may or may not be in the works in terms of me finding something i am passionate about. i'm so excited, i can't stand it. i do know that it may turn into nothing, so i'm having to try to keep it down a bit. it would be huge for me and quite a big change in life. more later!
resolution
so....the dilemma from yesterday was handled, with WAY more tact and class than i knew i had. and i'm done. i did a slight variation of what was suggested and what I had in my head, and it just came out sounding happy and "wish i was there" kind of.
yesterday: i had to go somewhere with a group of people.
it's always so apparent when you aren't a "cool" kid, isn't it? these people are wondering, as i am, why is this girl (me) there?
what i was not so fond of, was 1. the cast down glances at my purse, which instead of being a big flowery suitcase that is all the rage now, is a small, sleek little italian bag 2. the constant referral to me as "that girl" or "she", when i'm standing right there. 3. the way that i was in a conversation with someone totally different about something and one of them came up on the tail end of a conversation letting me know that she "would rather die" than claim she went to the school that i did and 4. having two of them start talking about me when i was a foot away from them.
yes, i was cast back to a time...well, no...i wasn't. i've not experienced a time like this ever...in my childhood or my adult life. is it unbearable, no. annoying, yes.
yesterday: i had to go somewhere with a group of people.
it's always so apparent when you aren't a "cool" kid, isn't it? these people are wondering, as i am, why is this girl (me) there?
what i was not so fond of, was 1. the cast down glances at my purse, which instead of being a big flowery suitcase that is all the rage now, is a small, sleek little italian bag 2. the constant referral to me as "that girl" or "she", when i'm standing right there. 3. the way that i was in a conversation with someone totally different about something and one of them came up on the tail end of a conversation letting me know that she "would rather die" than claim she went to the school that i did and 4. having two of them start talking about me when i was a foot away from them.
yes, i was cast back to a time...well, no...i wasn't. i've not experienced a time like this ever...in my childhood or my adult life. is it unbearable, no. annoying, yes.
PARTY TIME!!!!
what would you do?
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
the newest best thing in the world
i would show you a picture, however, i don't have one...why? because it's all gone. i did limit myself and consumed it in a very slow process...of a couple months. but still. i find myself dreaming of this:
Image via WikipediaMy favorite one is the Maple Almond Butter, but i'm a sucker for Almond Butters. this one is so subtly salted that when you take a bite, the salt hits at a very specific time, each bite. t is always talking about how people discontinue things that he likes. i can honestly say that this is one of the only things i would care about if they discontinued. for real.
i need a novel
Image via Wikipediai had a conversation with my friend the other day and while talking, she made this profound statement and it stuck with me. we talked about how it was strange that an ex of hers still kept in touch with her, yet never brought up the fact that she has a daughter now. it almost seems like if he didn't bring the daughter up, it was like she had never had her or something. anyway, we were talking about how weird that was and how, although my friend is NOT all about talking about her child every second of the day (because she's cool like that), that at least acknowledging the fact that she now has a child, is likely in order. anyway, in the midst of this convo, my friend made a very profound statement. it went something to the effect of, "i mean, some people write novels or discover things or something amazing during their life time....i mean, she (her daughter) is MY novel". well put, i thought...and when she said it, it gave me warm fuzzy feelings too, which is a bonus.
it really got me thinking about things. i mean, when thinking of my mom, i guess I was probably her novel too, as is the case with many parents, i'm sure. most parents, when asked, would say that their children are their biggest accomplishment. but what about the rest of the people? i mean, what about the other people who DO have a novel or other big thing? and more importantly and relavent...i don't have a novel.
after the past few days of not being at work, it's put a lot in perspective. in the beginning, i thought that the job was the hardest one i had ever done. now, after time, it's become apparent that it's really not...and that instead of having to have amazing organizational skills and special talents, that maybe you just have to catch on and have a memory of a process...that you are going to repeat over, and over, and over again. it's a job that you don't really need any special training for at all and in reality, the person that i'm "replacing", started it pretty much right out of high school and has "outgrown" it. and i know, in a while, i could be put in another job...but i'm even thinking about how that, doesn't even really seem very purposeful.
so, i'm learning...i need a life full of purpose and making a difference. whereas, when i was a school counselor, maybe some people viewed it as a hack job, i knew i was making a difference. i knew that at least one time a day, some child felt special that i had taken some time to talk to them and care. i know that today, when i see one boy in particular in the local grocery store that he works in (he's now in high school), that he remembers me and says hi. in real estate, you could go the extra mile and make someone's experience a good one, so that they would recommend you, and so that they would have a fantastic expereince when everyone else was having bad ones. when i was an adoption worker, well, you can only guess how you touch people's lives in that way.
but while the schedule is overwhelmed, my life is underwhelmed....and i need to change that around. i need my novel.
thrifty!
some of you may remember a while back, i think it's been about two years, when i was coupon happy. I mean, i was nuts. but i was determined that i wasn't going to do what most people do, and buy a whole bunch of stuff that i wouldn't normally, just because i had a coupon. so, i didn't.
i am happy to say that because i stocked up on things that we needed and I knew that we would need in the future, that we still haven't run out of most things in our house. i'm only realizing the ramifications of it now, as we are getting closer to the point where we are going to need to restock. but seriously, the weekends spent clipping and the few trips to K-Mart when they had triple coupons...all worth it.
what does this mean for me? It's meant not going to the grocery store and paying top price for shampoo when i ran out, or shaving cream, or dishwashing detergent, or aluminum foil....the list goes on. it's meant that when i'm at a store and i see something that i use on a sale, i buy it then, rather than waiting...because in the end, i'm spending that money....on gas and on the higher price. this discovery was awesome. i seriously didn't realize how profound it would be...until this time. but wow, was it worth it. i'm going to do another run of it again. you never know when stores will go out of business or stop doing triple coupons....so it's worth it.
i am happy to say that because i stocked up on things that we needed and I knew that we would need in the future, that we still haven't run out of most things in our house. i'm only realizing the ramifications of it now, as we are getting closer to the point where we are going to need to restock. but seriously, the weekends spent clipping and the few trips to K-Mart when they had triple coupons...all worth it.
what does this mean for me? It's meant not going to the grocery store and paying top price for shampoo when i ran out, or shaving cream, or dishwashing detergent, or aluminum foil....the list goes on. it's meant that when i'm at a store and i see something that i use on a sale, i buy it then, rather than waiting...because in the end, i'm spending that money....on gas and on the higher price. this discovery was awesome. i seriously didn't realize how profound it would be...until this time. but wow, was it worth it. i'm going to do another run of it again. you never know when stores will go out of business or stop doing triple coupons....so it's worth it.
end of summer
it's finally fall here! and i'm so excited. the chill in the air is amazing and just what i've been waiting for. so, here is a goodbye to summer. i forgot to post this picture from my san fran trip. it was beautiful
the past few days!
have been interesting to say the least. Thursday came and throughout some stroke of luck, i found myself with some time on my hands. t had been gone and was coming back that night...i was going to pick him up. first, i was trying to think about what i was going to do with this free time??? there were so many options...but before i could think of them, i decided to go deposit a check. on the way, i heard this POP noise from my tire. The first thing i did was pull into a gas station and look at the tire. holy LUCK, it was fine.
today, it got fixed...but in the midst of the day, i was walking and seriously almost fell on the floor. i couldn't walk upright without shooting pain in my lower back. my muscles are all SO sore! i guess cardio doesn't prepare you for the intricacies of changing a tire!
we closed on our refinance for our home. YAY!!! $200 less a month on our mortgage! SO excited for that and totally worth the 3 month wait to get it done! Also, no mortgage payments for the next TWO nonths. WOOOO HOOOO!!!!
i did my errands, then came home, only to get out and hear a hissing sound. by hissing, it was LOUD and fast. i look and see the tear from the piece of metal lodged in my tire. i write to t, and ask what i should do. i went from neighbor to neighbor, seeking help, but finding none, had to change the tire on my own. now, i had learned how to do this before and in fact, I was the one that had changed my ex-husbands tire in the middle of el paso in the dark of night. however, that was 10 years ago. i wasn't up on my "changing tire" skills, people.
So, i got out the manual. and did it. i got to the locked nut on the wheel and seriously, could not, for the life of me, get the damn thing off. I was using all of my weight to pull up on the thing. i called my dad and asked "how do you get the special screw off" and finding no reason to do otherwise, yanked up as hard as i could...therefore freeing the "special screw". I know you are all impressed with my mechanical accumen.
i call the dealership and tire stores and none of them have the damn thing in and i have to wait...til the next day (today) at 2. so, i figured that i would take a much needed day off from work and enjoy the time. i did, however, have to go get t at the airport and what was i going to drive? i had been WARNED up and down by the dealership that i should, in no way, drive the car with the donut tire on it, for long distances and to even be careful on the turns. i should know by now, that t was going to argue that point...which he did, so there i took off, with my gimpy car, to the airport.
today, it got fixed...but in the midst of the day, i was walking and seriously almost fell on the floor. i couldn't walk upright without shooting pain in my lower back. my muscles are all SO sore! i guess cardio doesn't prepare you for the intricacies of changing a tire!
we closed on our refinance for our home. YAY!!! $200 less a month on our mortgage! SO excited for that and totally worth the 3 month wait to get it done! Also, no mortgage payments for the next TWO nonths. WOOOO HOOOO!!!!
i don't know what to say about this right now.....
there have been very few times when i've just referred to a post and not had something to say. i just don't right now. THIS post made me second guess a lot right now.
weirdness all around
this week has been weird. i'll just say it. it may be because t had a big presentation last week, was on call over the weekend, then is gone. but it's been weird.
over the weekend, i convinced him to go to the Ben Folds concert with the Colorado Symphony. you may gasp, but i've never heard the symphony. i'll just say that now, i know...everything is better with strings. i mean, it pulled at your heart WAY more than any old concert. he played almost all the songs i loved....except:
but he did play "The Luckiest". This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Literally. i would play this at my wedding...that we aren't having. but if we had one...this would be my song.
it was amazing. one of the best concerts i have been to.
on another note, i did some baking this weekend. i would post pictures...but the cupcakes that i baked...are gone. yes. 18 of them. gone. just so you know, they were good. these were them, before they were frosted , THESE were them. i'll just say, a little frosting goes a long way. one batch of frosting is WAY too much, in my opinion.
today, something a little stranger happened.
i got an email from a grad school friend that asked if I recognized this girl (the website with the girl on followed). i looked at the picture, before i found out what happened. and yes, i recognized her face. she was someone we went to school with and she was a DA in Austin. she had just had a baby and had postpartum depression and she killed herself last friday.
granted, i didn't know this person...if at all. i knew her face and i know that at this point, my life is very much inundated with babies. those were likely the two most prevalent things that we had in common, besides going to the same school. granted, obviously, we're not thinking of babies right now. but i can only think of that time as being a really exciting one. it was eye-opening and scary to think of it any other way. it made me wonder, didn't people notice, didn't someone try to get her help???? but maybe they did and there was nothing "they" could do.
over the weekend, i convinced him to go to the Ben Folds concert with the Colorado Symphony. you may gasp, but i've never heard the symphony. i'll just say that now, i know...everything is better with strings. i mean, it pulled at your heart WAY more than any old concert. he played almost all the songs i loved....except:
but he did play "The Luckiest". This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Literally. i would play this at my wedding...that we aren't having. but if we had one...this would be my song.
it was amazing. one of the best concerts i have been to.
today, something a little stranger happened.
i got an email from a grad school friend that asked if I recognized this girl (the website with the girl on followed). i looked at the picture, before i found out what happened. and yes, i recognized her face. she was someone we went to school with and she was a DA in Austin. she had just had a baby and had postpartum depression and she killed herself last friday.
granted, i didn't know this person...if at all. i knew her face and i know that at this point, my life is very much inundated with babies. those were likely the two most prevalent things that we had in common, besides going to the same school. granted, obviously, we're not thinking of babies right now. but i can only think of that time as being a really exciting one. it was eye-opening and scary to think of it any other way. it made me wonder, didn't people notice, didn't someone try to get her help???? but maybe they did and there was nothing "they" could do.
Posts
