workout music

i know, this is not the zippiest of songs, but i love it. i pretend to know all the words, instead of the three that i do know.

i would write more, but my legs are in too much pain..

just kidding, but we have seriously been ripping it up this week with the workouts.  they have been great and last nights, i would categorize as LIFE ALTERING.  Life altering in that i don't know if i'm going to be able to walk normally again. 

we decided to ramp it up and do a 2 hour workout at the gym.  i did another spinning class.  this one was the "moving mountains" one of the week, however, i just kept my resistance down and went fast.  i love one technique in particular that this trainer uses.  she always says things like, "c'mon guys, we are doing this for 55 seconds...you can do ANYTHING for 55 seconds!"  mind games, yes.  but one that i play well.  because yes, i CAN do anything for 55 seconds.  it has gotten me through many situations, even though i'm onto her game.  afterwards, i had nothing in me, so i walked at an incline of 10 for about 20 minutes then just walked for the majority of the rest of the time.  i had motivation to stay at the gym, since Survivor was on (duh, i wasn't going to LEAVE!). 

we will have pictures from tonight.  it's FONDUE FRIDAY!!!! 

the prowl...

this job searching stuff can make a girl feel...well....sleezy.  not that i've not had some sleeze in my life, but i'm just sayin', this isn't an area i expected it in.

it's never really been this way before, so i'm attributing it all to the economy, because isn't that the best excuse for everything right now?  seriously though, it's been a different type of search for me than in the past.  it could have to do that it's been about...oh, 8 years since i've actually looked for a job. 

so far, i'm 0 for 2.  in that, there are two jobs that i applied for that i was either qualified for completely, or maybe a teensy bit overqualified for, that i never heard a peep from the employer, until they told me that they had selected someone else.  not taking it personally, i know that's the way it is.  but the steps that i have had to take to JUST GET A RESPONSE is making me feel a bit whorish. 

i'm gearing up right now for a full month though, on the job search front.  school jobs are opening up this next month, so i have to be like a vulture on the district's pages.  in addition, one of t's co-workers has a wife that is in another sub-field that i'm interested in as well.  she has taken my resume and we'll see what happens with that. 

all in all, i'm pretty optimistic that SOMETHING will happen.  it's just the process is a bit different this time around!  it's all about the process, people!

resistance loading

i went to spin class for the first time, oh....in about a year. 

it just so happened that i was there for what is everyone's least favorite night...resistance loading.  for those of you not in the know...this just involves biking at a certain cadence, then upping resistance (not very high, mind you, as you are doing this for speed), and keeping at the same cadence.  this instructor that is there, she is really one of the best ever.  she is so about form and consistency and isn't afraid to give tips during the ride. 

I'M TOAST TODAY!!!!

I figured that i needed to do spinning classes during the week, as we do have our big ride coming up.  Yes, i know, spinning doesn't replace acutal time on a bike.  But it can't hurt either. 

i'm contemplating purchasing the FIVE FINGERS.  fully aware they look weird, i know.  but i've heard amazing things about them.  they have completely eliminated any running pain for so many people.  it makes sense, but i worry about striking the ground with no recoil from a shoe.  we'll see.  if i can score some off of ebay for cheap, i'm a buyer!  yes, i know...i'll look like a frog. 

i saw a great movie the other day that i'd been waiting forever to see.  it's Food, Inc.  What a great film that was.  i had been putting it off because i thought it was going to be all about disgusting conditions that we raise our food in and i didn't know if i could hack watching it.  it ended up being a very mindful documentary about the way that we eat and what we are putting into our bodies.  suprisingly, to me, it didn't pound "DON'T EAT MEAT" into the heads of watchers, but just a thoughtful approach to everything we are putting in our bodies, and the monopolies that exist within our food.  did you know that corn byproducts are used to make BATTERIES?  i didn't. 

giveaway!!!!

Fantastic Giveaway today and the rest of the week at ilaxSTUDIO. 

this one is a doozie....Calphalon Contemporary Nonstick 10″ and 12″ Combo Set, people! 

Get over there!!!!

finding time

finding the time to blog is really an issue this week. 

I think it's due to a couple issues...

1.  my trip to dallas, put me in a funk.  i don't know how to elaborate on it more than that...but there you go.

2.  i'm job searching every spare second that I can.  I am feeling issues go on at work that i don't think can be ignored for a long time and i think that it is safer for me to start looking for work now, rather than later, lest something explode there.  (that wasn't meant to be cryptic, really, however, i don't want to be blabbing about work on here too much).

3.  the job market for anything is not the best, as you all know...even if you live under a rock.  it is, i have found, especially not good, for social workers, who have not done social work for 6 years. 

4.  work is BUSY and seriously, not a second to do anything else, while i'm here.
 
5.  i think that both t and i realized the nature of some of our friendships with people, at the same time.  mine, of course, having to do with the old song and dance (being an only child, wanting people to count on) he just realizing that there are very few people that you can count on .  i explained that this is why, no matter how weird it is that i will back my family up til the cows come home.  they will always be there.  i can't name a single family that wouldn't be there for either of us, if needed.

6.  number 5 is somewhat being negated and made really exciting though, by the prospect of some people (yes, more than one couple) moving here as a possibility in the near future.  i'm not getting all excited at nothing....YET.  but it does put some excitement in life, just thinking about this. 

7.  we are working out like rock stars!  i think that i am seeing results, such as clothes getting baggy, etc.  i am thrilled.  we having to get ready for our MS 150 coming up at the end of June, so there will be no slacking going on in the future!!!!

and so it goes

i've been writing this post in my head for at least 100 hours now.  for some reason, it seems hard to put down into thoughts. 

My trip....

here it is, in no particular order:

1.  Saw my friend, J.  He is a hip, single guy living the dream in Dallas.  (o.k., j, i don't know if you think you are living the dream or not, but some people would saw that being single is living the dream).  we caught up on life and what was going on, it was a good time.

2.  bought a miche purse. if you haven't seen these and have a penchant for liking a lot of change in your life, this is for you.  go to miche to see the real gist of it.  the long and short of it is that it's a bag, that has many covers that you can switch out as many times as your heart desires.  i love change...so this is  good for me!

3.  ate good french food. 

4.  has frozen yogurt at Pinkberry for lunch.  I'm an adult and i can do these things.  I had the original flavor with mochi and carob chips on it. 

5. had a not very relaxing massage by a woman at a chain massage place.  I almost would have ventured to say that maybe she just had "different" technique than other people?  but no...this wasn't the case.  She almost dislocated body parts as she flung my limbs around carelessly.  oh, and her cell phone rang during the massage.

6.  i drove to tyler, tx.  you may ask why....but it really is a great place.  it is known for it's roses and azeleas.  and when i saw that it's known for it, these texans take these things VERY seriously.  homes were COVERED in the things.  i know...you want pictures...but that's too bad, because i was so busy looking at these things, i forgot to take pictures. 

7.  while in tyler, i saw my grad school roommate.  to date, still one of the coolest girls i've ever met.  we moved in with each other in Austin and literally said, "we don't have to be best friends, or even friends, for that matter..."  YEAH, RIGHT!  life sure had changed for both of us....she used to be the messiest, non-domesticated person that i know.  she is so put together now, is married, with two kids....it left me speechless.  she is still wonderful and it made me miss that friendship, as it's probably the closest one that i've had to someone that lived in the same town as me, much less in the same house. 

8.  met up with college friends, Sean and Chelle, at benihana.  they are the ones that have the little boy Carter, whom i've posted about before.    i don't know how to put words to this couple.  Sean and Chelle have been in such a position of despair, loving, and i'm sure sheer terror at times in their lives together.  long story short (you can read the rest at his webpage), carter had a number of complications at birth that eventually led to a 5 organ transplant.  there are many ironys to this situation.  you have never, in your life, seen more dedicated, mama and papa bear parents than these two.  throughout many times, they have probably not thought that they would be standing there with their son today.  but they are.  sean lost his job a while back....but they are making it.  they are in the hospital WAY more than they are out and still they deal with probing hands of people being nosy, wanting to touch their child, and being insensitive.  out of any of the couples that hung out together in college, they are the only ones that are still together and obviously should be.  it was humbling to be around them and to see that they maintain a sense of who they are, even though they are in this situation

9.  i was supposed to see my friend, r.  r was my boyfriend throughout much of college, but i much rather think of him as my friend...he helped me through a lot of life.  he was the one that called my parents when he thought my exercising and lack of eating was out of control, he was the one that drove me to colorado so that my parents could see what was going on...he was a very good person.  after i went through that summer of treatment, i did what i had to do for myself, and i broke up with him.  i couldn't be myself, living in the shadow of someone that was so outgoing and out there.  we had evolved to be friends, much like we were before we started dating.  after that, his life took a turn down a path that was nothing like what anyone would have thought, but after years, he ended up back in a good place (i think).  he is with a girl now and i thought it would be a great time if we all could meet up for lunch or something. 

day after day passed and everytime there was something planned, things changed and we couldn't meet.  i began to see what was playing out.  in all honesty, in my head, i was just excited to get together with friends...in fact, i couldn't WAIT to get home to t.  there were no ulterior motives on my part, i guarantee you.  however, i did see the girlfriend's side of it and when it came down to the last day and she had dictated when i could have lunch with him (the last few minutes before i left on my flight), i just decided that i didn't want to be that person causing strife.  i told him that although she was saying it was o.k. that he see me for lunch....it wasn't really o.k.  it was better than him having dinner with an ex, yes, but it wasn't going to be o.k.  and it would cause problems with them.  he told me that she shouldn't be upset because she knew everything that went on in his life, she even checked his phone YIKES!  i told him that we should wait for a time when she could be there and see that my intentions were nothing of what she thought.  he was not at all happy, tried to get me to go, regardless....and i just wasn't going to be a pawn in the game that was going on.  i declined and went home! 

have never been so happy to get home....i mean, really happy.  i love life here and realized also how much i HATE conflict, because i just don't have it at home. 

i've been in bed for the past few days tho....i got home and got the weirdest experience...a fever without being sick.  haven't been going to work, as to not get my dad sick, so, i've just been taking it easy, hence the lack of blogging!

things are awesome...i'll post some tx pictures soon!

leavin on a jet plane

taking a trip this weekend and part of next week to Dallas.  this will be a reunion trip of magnificent proportions. 

Hopefully seeing about 8 friends from college.  of course, every one is at a totally different part of their lives than the last time we saw each other, as it's been about 15 years for some of us.  it should be a great time, i'm really excited....

except for the fact that i will be flying into thunderstorms today.  yikes!!!!

we caved to the Survivor pressure

we have been doing fantastically well with everything lately..eating, working out, sleeping (for the most part...except for a few mouse filled nights). 

not saying that this is "bad" for you...but i just couldn't believe how quickly i caved to the pressure that was on the tv screen during Survivor last night.  They kept showing commercial after commercial with steak and lobster from Outback.  Then, as if that were not bad enough, they had the people that had been stuck out on the island for 30+ days eating Outback as well. 

we did well, we went home and at chicken, brown rice and carrots.  but tonight.....


OUTBACK!!!!

how things change

i was laughing so hard yesterday, as i realized that the bulk of my day, had been "taking care" of my parents.  now, they don't need to be taken care of...there is NOTHING inept about them. 

but, all in a days time, i found myself, 1.  pointing out steps to them, so that they didn't fall.  2.  Calling their phone company and yelling at them about the months of swindling they had done on my parents by charging them extra. and finally 3.  making my dad go wash his hands and then disinfecting his entire office, after someone had entered and used his stuff, that happened to have a cold. 

o.k. granted, it's a bit more disasterous for my dad than most people if he gets sick...but still. 

my, my....how things change.

this guy is creepy...in the best way possible

there is this guy who comes into the office, like clockwork, every tuesday.  he is invited...he is the unofficial massage therapist. 

i do like this man, i think he has good intentions and good will towards people in general.  he is part native american and i believe it has come up in some conversation at some points.  i think he has done the whole sweat tent thing, etc. 

he is single, and has a boy that is severely autistic.  so, i don't know how he makes it on a daily basis.  he homeschools his son, as it was too hard for him to keep him in school. 

all in all, a kind of sad story.

more so, because no one has realized this man's potential, for what may be, a myriad of reasons.  the main one is that, i think, he looks a little different than mainstream. 

this guy, is amazing.  i don't tell him when i have headaches, or when i'm hurting somewhere....i don't have to. he just knows.  he goes right to the point and usually won't say anything, but will pinpoint it, to an inch of where your pain is.  yesterday, he gets to my head and says, 'wow, your scalp is so tight here, i can't even move it" so, he worked on that for a while.  that was precisely the spot my headache was in. 

do you know of any diamonds in the rough that you think are hidden treasures???

being an only and some other things

one of our mice died yesterday.  it was awful, she had been having some issues and we didn't take her to the vet til yesterday and she died at the vets, while i was watching this all happen, as well as our other mouse.  i get that it's a mouse and no, i'm not a crazy loon that's so upset about a mouse, i think it has to do with ever watching another warm blooded animal suffer...just terrible. 

more importantly and exponentially more sad is that my friend from high schools mom just passed away a few days ago.  i am in touch with this friend and her brother and have planned on attending this funeral, even though i don't remember the mom so well.  the thought of what they are going through is just beyond me right now, and i think a funeral is not so much about the person that died, but the support of the people that are still here.  so, needless to say, i planned on going. 

last night though, i was sitting on a bike at the gym and seriously had a panic attack of some kind.  i had been thinking of the mouse, of all things, and all of the sudden, just couldn't breathe.  it all came all at once, all these thoughts to things i had been dealing with on a superficial level. 

i am good at being alone, i really do like my alone space and not being bothered about it.  however, there is a HUGE difference between being alone on a day to day basis, and being alone knowing that you have no more connections through family... 

i've thrived being an only child.  not for a day did i ever wish for a sibling....until yesterday.  There is something about being an only child that people will never get, unless they are one.  i'd venture to say that you wouldn't get this, even if you are estranged from a sibling.  there is no one in the world that came from and experienced the same parents and in many cases, situations, as you and your siblings and your immediate family members.  no matter how bad, or good.  i've always been horrified of the thought of losing my parents and it is because of this.  t has always been of the mindset that he does so many crazy things and works for insanely hard, that it wouldn't be an unlikely event for something to happen to him.  and there...i would eventually be left with no family connection.  i'm assuming this is a main reason why people have children.  i always thought, "carrying on the family lines" was a ridiculous notion and i still do.  however, the fact that we likely are not going to be adopting, has now come to mean a bigger thing to me, i guess.  my "family" will stop at that point.  and apparently the thought of being left with nothing, is stifling to me. 

i like my connections to people, my family members in particular.  the mouse dying, was in a the scheme of things, a mini-tragedy.  but, i  realized then that i need some more family members...preferably ones that are warm-blooded (no offense, toads.) and that live longer than 2 years.  i don't know how you acheive this, but i need to do it for myself. 

i'm rethinking the funeral thing...i just don't know that i could keep it together, watching these two people my age, lose their mom.  but  they have each other, as siblings, they have spouses, and they have children to keep those memories and family going. 

new york snapshots...

we left tuesday at 10am and returned wednesday at 8pm. 

here's what happened in between...

we went to Spark's Steakhouse.  this was an event.  we knew that we were having a treat at an establishment that had been 1.  around for years, and 2. had some history behind it!  very cool.  we went in and we were about the only people there.  we perused the menu....

and then went on to order a mini-appetizer. 

what came was this.  this is 3.5 pounds of lobster, people.

after that was done, we ate some damn good steak.  by damn good, i mean that it was amazing and large.  probably at least a pound. 

the next day i met juni at the hotel where i was staying.  what i mean by that is that she drove a million two hours to get to the hotel.  that is some friend loyalty there. 

we proceeded to eat bagels...

and drink some vitality drink that was nasty.  think...warm ice cream that bubbles.  sick

we headed downtown on the subway

saw a baby with no head

then shopped and went and ate some more.  we headed to a place called Sakagura.  we went here because i have always known that if you ask people what their favorite place in NYC is, they will inevidibly give you different answers...there are too many good ones.  However, when i asked and had juni ask, we had one come up 5 times.  and one of those was by Anthony Bourdain, so how could you go wrong.  It was awesome. 

we made our way back to the hotel....took a quick pic

and i was off to find t at Mount Sinai. 

all this to say, i can't say that NYC was at all t's thing.  well, i can defintiely say it wasn't his thing. i had a great time there, as always, but even more so seeing Juni.   it was a good 24 hours for me.    

the events that are ahead...and behind

so....in the past two weeks...it's just been hectic. 

we went to MN for a two day trip.  t had work there and i tagged along.  i got to stay at an amazing hotel.  highly recommend if you are in MN and have some cash that you are dying to get rid of.  it's called the Graves601.  it was super modern, with all kinds of neat artistic elements on different floors.  Right in the heart of Downtown Minneapolis and even better, less than a block away from Fogo De Chao.  what a deal.

we came back to the real world work on thursday or last week.  some big fateful event had happened in MN though, that we didn't know was fate.  i rented a car online and when we got in at 11pm on Monday, they didn't have the speck of a car that we ordered through the economy line.  they instead had a prius.  i drove like crazy in this thing.  it was awesome.  i loved it.  we got back and immediately, i looked into if i could own my very own. 

after haggling (the details of which i won't subject you to), i got it on Saturday.  in the end, yes, i had to put money down.  i should get that back in the tax credit next year, and i will promptly put that money into savings, for the event that i need to buy a new battery for the car in the next 4-5 years. 

even better than all of that....

i was prepared to have t co-sign with me, once again, because after numbnuts was in my life...well, my credit was gone.  last time i bought a car, i think the dealer laughed at it...maybe just snickered a bit.  i sat in the dealership, as he ran our credit.  i think i was sweating...i hate that feeling.  he got done and snickered.  kind of blew air out of his mouth like, "wow, you weren't kidding your credit was bad".  but instead, he said, "well, your credit isn't too bad at all".  turns out, after paying extra on things, paying on time, etc.  my credit had jumped 100 points.  no joke.  i bought the car all on my own, at a slightly higher interest rate than if both t and i had done it.  but it just felt good. 

time has passed....

i would have written much sooner, had i had 30 seconds to myself. 

but that's just an excuse.  I've been trying to get through the blog reading that i've fallen so far behind on lately.  i have seriously about 200 to read....

                                                                and, i got this!!!!!

i'll write more soon....off to see juni tomorrow and then i'll be back for a few before i head to dallas!!!!