Make up your mind

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I went to school today with the best of thoughts in my head. This really was going to be a positive experience, wasn't it? I mean, this week, things were different, my eyes didn't feel as if Velcro had been scraped along the insides. The drive wasn't nearly so bad, being that I spoke most of it talking to t…I mean, this could really work. I finally had a real schedule!

When we got to class, an instructor came in and informed us that we had all decided to change the class to a different weekend than the one that was previously in our syllabus. So, basically, the one that we had all geared life around for the past 3 months or so…just sayin'. As I was questioning in my head why I hadn't remembered this mass decision that WE had made, he also informed us that three emails had bounced back to him when he polled the class to see what dates would be best and that I was one of those three. Hmmmm, I thought…this being a school all about communication and such, wouldn't they have tried more than one way to get a hold of us? Surely they would. Nope, they wouldn't. oh, and when was the weekend we needed to be here? Oh, that would be the one where I will be in another state, far….far away. Oh, when would be the second weekend that I would need to be there? Oh, that would be the weekend when I'm running the half marathon in denver.

They were very accommodating, and so nice about it. No, they wouldn't expect me to change my flight on the first weekend. They would tape the class for me. Which is nice, really. But I'm such a stickler for being at class and not missing a thing…I think I may be longingly thinking about psychological testing when I'm in Duluth. O.k. I'll deal. The second weekend, well…that's just kind of going to have to be that way. I won't get to go to the expo where 12,000 runners will be milling around. I will be in class on Friday and Saturday from 9-5pm and then I will wake up the next morning at 5a.m. to go run a half marathon in denver. I'm still excited!

A whole new world

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I got this new computer and in it…new stuff to learn. I thought that I was somewhat on the up and up on what was going on with computers…I had no idea. So, I'm trying out the latest, blogging in word. I don't know that it's going to be my thing. It keep capitalizing my I's that I don't want capitalized. But, who knows. And skype??? Oh my gosh, we just gave a tour of our home and the toads on skype. Oh, this just gave me an idea…the toads can blog on their own. They could have their own show…but I digress…


 
The whole thing…just amazingly amazing.

And if you guessed it...so what if i'm already avoiding reading my book for class tomorrow. ;)

to meat or not to meat

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i was put in a tizzy on thursday because of this article: Getting Real About the High Price of Cheap Food
in time magazine.

when i was in jr. high, i did some sort of speech and then was soon after approached by the high school debate coach to participate in a speech contest, as she had watched me previously.  i had no clue what i was doing, and it wasn't for a grade, so i did what any person would do, and researched the crap out of a topic that i knew nothing about.  i don't know why, but i chose the topic of animal rights.  i did the contest, i don't remember if i won or lost...but i knew more about this topic than i would have in any other situation...and i had talked my mom from out of getting a fur coat.  point for me.

i had a boyfriend in jr. high, that was vegetarian.  not uncommon for people in colorado, but in jr. high?  anyway, i tried a stint of that for a while...but not for any real cause.

after reading this article...i don't know if i can eat any more meat again.  i started thinking about how i cannot watch things that are negative towards animals...then i started wondering if i have been running from what i need to read and know about.  isn't that what we do, as humans?  not investigate and hide from things that could possibly have a gigantic impact on our lives? 

i wrote to a friend from high school, who had posted many things on facebook about being vegan.  she wasn't, i didn't think, in high school, so i asked her to tell me her story and what caused this for her.  she was helpful and gave me tons of reading materials that she had read that had swayed her into veganism.  for a split second, the thought came into my head, that "I can't read this stuff...it will make me too sad", but then i realized, i can't NOT read this stuff, if it is factual.

it's a little bit funny...

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i was on my way to work today when i heard that DJ a.m. died today from, likely an overdose.  i don't know a lot about him, or anything like that, for that matter...but in the back of my head, i thought that he had been in that plane wreck with travis barker from Blink 182 last year.  the horrible radio d.j. confirmed this and i thought, how tragic and irreversibly stupid can you be, to have cheated death like that, and to have caused it regardless?

anyway, this thought brought me to another.  the fact that i would LOVE to go see Blink 182.  They are playing at red rocks amphitheater this weekend.  I had contemplated buying tickets, however, i just couldn't get into the thought of sitting around rowdy teenagers, smoking pot, and being crushed en masse, between them.  call me crazy.  i just realized at that moment, however, that you can call me old.  no matter how beautiful Red Rocks can be...it's just not so beautiful with a whole bunch of tweaked out teenagers making out in front of you. 

instead of buying tickets to concerts, i only have two that i will spend money on now.  instead of buying tickets to concerts, i now buy tickets to Anthony Bourdain...because hearing some chef's story of how his life went and his smart dialogue on the irony of people is WAY more interesting to me than any of that other stuff. 

going to bed at 9pm is WAY more interesting to me as well, so that i don't feel that my eyes are being inverted and scraped off with a vegetable peeler this week, when i get up to get to work by 6a.m. 

the fact that this time around, in grad school, my extra hours that i had the first time around, are being consumed with well...LIFE, instead of going out every night, i go to work every day.  would i choose the other?  no, not right now. 

all this to say, i'm old.  officially.  and that's fine.

where's my lunchbox?

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when i was little and it was the first day of school, every year, i had a new lunchbox.  i don't remember all of them, but some stuck out more than others.  such as, strawberry shortcake and friends, with the built in cooler.  my favorite and most memorable, that i think we snagged in vail one year, was a lunchbox in the shape of a giant camera.  it had a blue lens in it.  it was cool.  forget the fact that it had no relavance whatsoever on my life...i didn't take pictures, didn't even want to...but it was, in fact, the yearly "thing" to do. 

this year, i found myself in the midst of  my first day of school.  maybe because this time, when i finished with this degree, i would have the initials PhD behind my name, we were apparently supposed to develop psychic skills along the way of life.  but, HELLO, i missed out on some of those, and i don't magically know what happens in this particular school when apparently everyone on campus DOES and i'm just odd man out. 

there was no lunchbox this year.  and although i hate to admit it, i've gotten through it, just swimmingly, despite having no clue what i was doing.  the week looked like this:

• Monday: get to work 35 minutes away at 6a.m., drive to school 45 minutes away at 10a.m., go back to work 45 minutes away, go home, at 5pm.
• tuesday: go to work at 5am, go to school at 1pm to 5pm
• wednesday-thursday: work from 6a.m. to 4pm. 

somehow through this, i managed to still rack up 40 hours of work.  very good!  i am also to do 8 hours worth of assistantship, so that is what i'm doing....or i guess, not doing now. 

that's been the week... it's been a good one....i've learned things, so i'm o.k. for it.

he's 37....or 38

well, it's the end of a week.  and the day that t was born...37 or 38 years ago. 

i think it's an actual optimistic thing that he does with his age.  it's what people typically do when they are 6 and cannot wait to grow up to be 7, so midway through year 6, they start saying that they are 6 and a half.  it's so cute.  well, he just jumps right up to the next year.  the first year i met him...i had no idea how old he was.  i just think it's very fitting and almost makes it seem....even if it's not true, that he cannot WAIT for the year ahead!

that's what friends are for....

i was talking to my friend that i hadn't talked to in a while, the other day.  in a weird twist of events, she CASUALLY mentioned that throughout time, she had repeatedly thought that if had a problem, that i wouldn't tell her.  that it was more important to me to "save face" than to get help and let her in on what was happening with me. 

THIS PISSED ME OFF to no end, i'll have a say, for a couple of reasons. 

the main one being, this was the one person in my life, that i have told everything to. 

when she said this to me, i literally felt 1. confused and 2. like someone had punched me in the stomach. 

it's not because those things are true, with maybe an acquaintance...i don't blab my junk on people that i don't know (call me crazy) and i don't give people information that i feel they wouldn't be interested in, or that they don't know ME enough to know, but i have told this person everything. 

i don't know how i reacted, but i imagine it went along the lines of "wow, really?"  when inside i was thinking, "what are you TALKING about?"  it made me feel as if i were being manipulated, because it was so off base. 

then i realized this and explained.  my life has gone swimmingly lately.  i honestly, have not had a lot to complain about...with anything.  am i tired?  yep.  am i juggling work and school right now wondering if i can make it to christmas break?  yes.  but as far as major problems go?  haven't had any.  life is good, people and for me, there is just no reason to bring in stress by thinking about what is wrong and what could go wrong, etc.  why bother? 

the other minor thing that bothered me about this statement from her, was that oh, i AM going to school for a degree that revolved around being open and oh, i have been to counseling more times than the average bear. 

i DON'T have an issue with asking for help.

whew, o.k., i feel much better now.  thanks for listening. 

Happy birthday, Baby Foley!

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There is a couple that i've been reading up on for the past couple years.  they make me smile, whatever the day has brought to me.  talk about positive thoughts and positive people...they are the epitome.  they made a new little addition, which makes me happy to no end that two great people created a third, and that she stayed beautiful in her mind and body, all the while.  Happy birthday, Byrdie.

the latest thing....for me

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i have heard about bubble tea for about a year now.  it has been served at some places i've gone to regularly, but i just couldn't get myself to do it.  something about having to have a gigantic, enormous straw to suck up gelatanous masses into your mouth...ewww. 

i ordered one in MN but i don't know exactly what happened.  the guys took 5 minutes to even help me, and then, that paired with my confusion over what to order, gave me this gross tasting drink that cost $5 and then didn't have the tapioca in it. 

i went to this movie theater that i frequent and just ordered the tea.  i acted like i was a boba tea whore.  like i really knew what i was doing...and i got the real thing.  i don't think that i even got out of the car before i tried it. 

it was very, very good, very addictive, and i can see what a big deal it is and why it is that.  you may ask why?  i don't know.  the theory of it is really quite gross.  you shouldn't have to chew things while you are drinking.  it is not, in any way, something you should have on a first date.  you may choke, or worse, have black tapioca chains hanging down your chin.  (not that that happened to me, but i'm just sayin'). 

i don't know why it didn't work out with us...

Image by Alana Elliott via Flickr

we tried and conquered the sleep number bed.  it actually ended up conquering us.  i don't know...i hesitate to say it's not wonderful, because we don't know if the one we used was broken or not.  we will be trying the bed again, however, in Duluth, because this radisson has all sleep number beds.  so, you will be getting an update soon enough about it. 

i will say this.  our experiences with it were as follows:

Night one: i had mine set for 25 and he had his set for 55.  midway through the night i woke up with an object on me...no wait, that's him.  because our settings were so different, he had rolled down to my land.  didn't bother rolling him back, went back to sleep.
Night two: we had them equal....both woke up with gross backs. 

the rest of the trip went like night two, so i won't bore you with details.  i'm assuming they have to be amazing...i 've never heard of anyone getting them that didn't like them.  maybe we will be amazed when we try the one in the hotel.  not sure. 

i'm trying....i just....can't....do it

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i have an array of blogs that i read...o.k. maybe by array, i mean 40 ish that are in my list. most don't post every day, but some do and for those that i've been following for 3 years...you know...it's like i HAVE to know what's been going on.

i mean, seriously, in the time that i've been gone, people went on trips, got pregnant, had babies, etc.

anyway, i've been trying. but there just seems to be too much to do. so, for now anyway....the past 10 days of your lives that i missed, except for a few of you, will just have to go on being a mystery in my head. because this cat, is exactly what i feel like every time i try to read 40 blogs in a row.

it's all coming together

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things are hectic right now. i mean, really hectic. i've brought on a good majority of it myself, but i just got a glimpse today of the beauty of putting yourself out there, getting things done, then reaping the rewards that will come to you.

i was trying to figure out and plan my trip to san fran to meet little lola. how was i going to afford this?

i just got a deal sent to me on my email for trips for $159 roundtrip!!!!

I'm BACK!!!!

o.k. i've been back for two days now, but it's just been hard to get back into the swing of things. we got back on sunday morning at 1:03am, according to the handy garmin.

we got to MN, I only got through 4 episodes of six feet under. I have since watched another disc, so i'm up to the 3rd disc of season 1. I will say this. I have never had a show, where in every episode, i have laughed and shed a tear, all in an hour. EVERY EPISODE PEOPLE. anyway, that to say, it's good.

we did a marathon when we got there, after driving to Hayward, WI.

it was such a fun race....hills galore and just small town scenery as you are skating through some rural roads and screaming 34 mph down a hill...but that's another story. it was a great time. i got a medal, not too pretty, but i'm proud of it. i skated the race on my own, with no pace line...had no intention of doing well, as we were all lumped in with pros at that one...and managed to pull of 3rd by only 8 seconds. if we hadn't been lumped in all together, t would have had a 1st place.

the rest of the week was a blur, for a few reasons...

1. we went to fogo de chao with t's brother and girl. we went at 5pm, we were asleep in meat comas by 7:30pm. it was that bad. i'm surprised they had any meat left over to feed the masses after we left

2. we FINALLY got to try out a sleep number bed. we have been contemplating getting one for a bit now, and well...will not be. i don't know if it was that bed in particular or what...but it didn't work for us. the first night, i woke up with t on me because his side was set to 55 and mine to 25, so he had rolled into my "hole". we set them equal at points, different at others....just didn't work.

3. we got massages from every mall we went to. it was like we had a pseudo hobby while we were there...and that was getting massages. it was a good time. they all had the same video playing while we were there though, and that was an instructional one on how to give massages.

4. there is something to be said for seeing things as they really are in a situation. seeing the true colors that you haven't let yourself see before. i would say that these situations are usually sad ones...and it was no different in this situation. but, we can move on from the experiences and make things better in our own lives because of them. parents should always protect their children....always. anything less is abuse and inexcusable.

i got back to go to my grad school orientation yesterday. i learned how to use a calendar there. no joke. it was like grad school for dummies. i sat there and pondered, "would this be helpful to me, if i hadn't gone to grad school already?" i thought...and thought and i came up with a resounding NO. it would only be helpful if i had never lived past the age of 10. they were teaching people how to use a calendar, how to not use facebook when you are studying, and how to say NO to people. funny? yes. so funny, i left.

what we will be doing for hours on end.

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is watching dvd's in the car, driving to MN.

what makes this bada$$ is that t is specifically setting up the dvd thing so that I can watch the first season of Six Feet Under that i bought on ebay for $5.

i know, i know, it has the BEST finale ever viewed on television. i'll get there.

getting ready

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we're getting ready for our big trip to MN for the year...the 10 day-er. these are always fun...even if we're just sitting around for the entire time. this time, i think will go faster than the rest though.

1. we have a skating marathon when we get there
2. we have things to do while we're there
3. my parents are coming out for the last half
4. it's the first real vacation of any length that both of us have had since september of last year (this makes me cry....just as much as it makes you go 'NO WAY')

because of this preparation, not much excitement has happened in our world. that is, unless you consider the following things excitement:

• i watched a moment of truth marathon, while i crocheted my heart out
• we went skating and for the second time saw the bikini clad college co-ed skating, with no helmet or pads, on the trail.
• i saw baby pictures of my friend's baby and told her thanks for letting me name her
• i missed "dating in the dark"
• my mom washed the remote control for the tv.
• t has been a cleaning fool and has disassembled washing machine and completely cleaned it.
• i have done mini-duathlons almost every day. they are killing me, i think.
• i'm getting ready mentally for school...which means that sometimes i have a mini freak out in my head. and then it leaves.

and that's all. i mean, really. that's it. i think that everyone's world is a bit like this right now from the things that i read.

sidenote on the name thing

um yeah, so i guess i didn't explain so clearly. she didn't get her name because i called her that on facebook. the sequence of events were this: i wrote that on facebook, totally kidding. then she named her baby and wrote me the name....with no knowledge that i put that on facebook. she doesn't even have a FB account. FREEEAAAKKKYYYYY!