THIS PISSED ME OFF to no end, i'll have a say, for a couple of reasons.
the main one being, this was the one person in my life, that i have told everything to.
when she said this to me, i literally felt 1. confused and 2. like someone had punched me in the stomach.
it's not because those things are true, with maybe an acquaintance...i don't blab my junk on people that i don't know (call me crazy) and i don't give people information that i feel they wouldn't be interested in, or that they don't know ME enough to know, but i have told this person everything.
i don't know how i reacted, but i imagine it went along the lines of "wow, really?" when inside i was thinking, "what are you TALKING about?" it made me feel as if i were being manipulated, because it was so off base.
then i realized this and explained. my life has gone swimmingly lately. i honestly, have not had a lot to complain about...with anything. am i tired? yep. am i juggling work and school right now wondering if i can make it to christmas break? yes. but as far as major problems go? haven't had any. life is good, people and for me, there is just no reason to bring in stress by thinking about what is wrong and what could go wrong, etc. why bother?
the other minor thing that bothered me about this statement from her, was that oh, i AM going to school for a degree that revolved around being open and oh, i have been to counseling more times than the average bear.
i DON'T have an issue with asking for help.
whew, o.k., i feel much better now. thanks for listening.
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3 comments:
I've recently felt very hurt by people hiding their stuff from me and/or assuming that they can't open up to me. So yeah, I get what you are saying.
you need to open up more, i agree. tell her everything, like if you aren't having any life problems, maybe you can tell her if you might have problems with your regularity...yanno, like pooping.
the more you say, the less they like to hear ;)
I cleansed my feed reader a few weeks ago and it seems I inadvertently deleted yours ... waaaah! I didn't mean to!
Here's the thing. MOST people are very self-centered. No really, we are. And so, when a friend seemingly stops telling us important stuff, we think that friend is dropping us. We think it's all about us. When the reality may be, as you've suggested, there's just nothing to report.
I might tell said friend that you understand why she might think you're shutting down, but instead of attacking you for not being honest, why not ask what's going on? Why not be the concerned friend she is and inquire with sensitivity? What if something really big was happening that you just needed time to digest? Wouldn't she feel awful for pushing you over the edge or forcing you to talk? No one should want to do that!
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