that's what friends are for....

i was talking to my friend that i hadn't talked to in a while, the other day.  in a weird twist of events, she CASUALLY mentioned that throughout time, she had repeatedly thought that if had a problem, that i wouldn't tell her.  that it was more important to me to "save face" than to get help and let her in on what was happening with me. 

THIS PISSED ME OFF to no end, i'll have a say, for a couple of reasons. 

the main one being, this was the one person in my life, that i have told everything to. 

when she said this to me, i literally felt 1. confused and 2. like someone had punched me in the stomach. 

it's not because those things are true, with maybe an acquaintance...i don't blab my junk on people that i don't know (call me crazy) and i don't give people information that i feel they wouldn't be interested in, or that they don't know ME enough to know, but i have told this person everything. 

i don't know how i reacted, but i imagine it went along the lines of "wow, really?"  when inside i was thinking, "what are you TALKING about?"  it made me feel as if i were being manipulated, because it was so off base. 

then i realized this and explained.  my life has gone swimmingly lately.  i honestly, have not had a lot to complain about...with anything.  am i tired?  yep.  am i juggling work and school right now wondering if i can make it to christmas break?  yes.  but as far as major problems go?  haven't had any.  life is good, people and for me, there is just no reason to bring in stress by thinking about what is wrong and what could go wrong, etc.  why bother? 

the other minor thing that bothered me about this statement from her, was that oh, i AM going to school for a degree that revolved around being open and oh, i have been to counseling more times than the average bear. 

i DON'T have an issue with asking for help.

whew, o.k., i feel much better now.  thanks for listening.