i don't know why it didn't work out with us...

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we tried and conquered the sleep number bed.  it actually ended up conquering us.  i don't know...i hesitate to say it's not wonderful, because we don't know if the one we used was broken or not.  we will be trying the bed again, however, in Duluth, because this radisson has all sleep number beds.  so, you will be getting an update soon enough about it. 

i will say this.  our experiences with it were as follows:

Night one: i had mine set for 25 and he had his set for 55.  midway through the night i woke up with an object on me...no wait, that's him.  because our settings were so different, he had rolled down to my land.  didn't bother rolling him back, went back to sleep.
Night two: we had them equal....both woke up with gross backs. 

the rest of the trip went like night two, so i won't bore you with details.  i'm assuming they have to be amazing...i 've never heard of anyone getting them that didn't like them.  maybe we will be amazed when we try the one in the hotel.  not sure. 

things i've learned about people, myself included

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as time goes on, i think we, as human, learn a little more about humans each year. they are "a-ha" moments that are really no brainers, but they come to us after time. you know them innately, yet they are shown to you through different scenarios. you know those times?

i've learned:

1. the more someone talks about what they are, the more they are not. it most likely means they are trying to convince themselves and you that they are something that they just aren't. people who are that way....just are.

2. that just because you are a certain way towards someone, that doesn't mean that they will be the same to you. meaning, sometimes, things happen....you can be crappy to someone and that person can love you so unconditionally, that they continually are good to you. or vice versa.

3. that i feel very much alone in many things. i don't know if this has to do with being an only child, but i never felt this way when i was little.

4. that sometimes, because i'm a fixer and listener of people and situations, that people don't think that i need the same thing.

5. that you can say something a million times, but it all is nothing, unless you ACT that way.

6. that people who say that they "do things in their own time and way" really, just don't want to be told what to do, and the more you battle with them about it, they will NOT do it...just to "show" you.

7. lying is toxic, but excuses are worse

8. everyone deserves to be told that they are loved and the reasons why by the person whom they are spending the rest of their lives with, at least once. if you have not heard these things from them, i personally think that's settling. if that person has a "hard time" saying these things, that's an excuse...see #7. tell them to suck it up.

what are the things you've learned?

i'm moving very, very slowly

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so, i went and had acupuncture yesterday. it was an odd experience to say the least. i walked in, and was talking to the receptionist and she was in the middle of saying something to me and just randomly got up and quite literally, banged a gong.

i was like, "Was it something i said?"

anyway, i went in and the doc had me lay, face-down in this massage table, like contraption. then he stuck the needles in. most of them, i didn't even feel, which was strange, considering they were in very sensitive spots. then, once they were in, he twisted them til i had a "sensation" in that area. that sensation was a warmth going through there, and sometimes, just a tinge of something. not uncomfortable at all. then, i laid there. for about 30 minutes, listening to this biofeedback-like tape. the rest of the needles, i had no awareness that they were really in. they didn't hurt, but this one, it hurt slightly, every time i took a breath. so, i was breathing more shallow. by the end of the 3o minutes, the pain was gone around that needle.

then, it was done, the receptionist girl came in and removed them all. then, i waited. i was so relaxed, it felt like i had had a 3 hour massage. i was jello....

in the afternoon, that is when the pain started. it was in the spot where it usually is, in my lower back, around the lower disc area. i was SO discouraged.

then, night came. was getting ready to go over to the neighborhood BBQ, and wouldn't you know it. my pain was gone. like gone gone.

now, i don't know, i am skeptical, but here it is, the next day, and it's still gone.

i'm on pins and needles

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or maybe more accurately, they are going to be on me soon. i'm going in today for the first out of hopefully only one treatment, of acupuncture. i'm so exctied, i can't wait.

but even more of what is making me excited is that in my head, i've already decided that it IS going to work.

yesterday, i took a drive to Vail to go see my parents. i took my new CD collection up with me and listened the whole way. i think i'm through disc 5 of 8 of it. there are some things that are great about it and somethings that are good. but i've not heard of anything that i thought that was not believeable about it.

it's all about using your mind to control your life. or more aptly, using your mind to not control, but to let things be. there are some things that are harder than others though to get through. i think probably the hardest things are the letting go of past problems. one of the most frustrating things to me, when i do it, or when someone else does it, is to contantly be involved in the same problem over and over again. i'm not talking things that are out of our control, but more the things that could be put to rest over a conversation. instead of talking about how many times you've been wronged by someone, why not, either, put that energy out of your life, or talk to them, and let them know the effect they are having. you are the only one that can change things, and you cannot change things in the past...only now.

the end all for me is when i hear the words from someone, "it's just not worth it". whether it be the effort it takes to do a task, or the effort that it would take to solve an issue, or just to have a conversation with someone. it IS worth, it , or you wouldn't be having the coversation about it that you are repeating over and over again. take the time to take care of the relationships, or just don't have them, i think is the harsh way to look at things. if someone is bothering you with words or actions, you are likely going to shy away anyway, to avoid hearing those things. why not take the time to approach the issue, and if it's unapproachable....at least know that. that is peace.

dr. d

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growing up, we watched a lot of PBS in our house. my parents weren't hippies, but well, we have had our share of Peter, Paul and Mary concerts that were blared through the speakers and played on the record player in my day.

one of the people, i remembered the most, is this man, Dr. Wayne Dyer. he was, from what i remember, kind of a self-help guru. what he said made sense, but so much sense, that sometimes, as a kid, i remember going, "well, duh"

i guess as you get older, you realize that those "well, duh" moments that you had as a kid....get somewhat hazy and not so obvious as an adult. life really is very simple. it's not as hard as the majority of people make it out to be. those "duh" moments are just not as recognizable, and that's what makes it hard.

the latest show that was on PBS last night was a show called "excuses begone" i only watched a few minutes of it, but it was seriously thought provoking. basically a study in the fact that most people rule their lives by the excuses they allow themselves to have.

that is the truth