that's what friends are for....

i was talking to my friend that i hadn't talked to in a while, the other day.  in a weird twist of events, she CASUALLY mentioned that throughout time, she had repeatedly thought that if had a problem, that i wouldn't tell her.  that it was more important to me to "save face" than to get help and let her in on what was happening with me. 

THIS PISSED ME OFF to no end, i'll have a say, for a couple of reasons. 

the main one being, this was the one person in my life, that i have told everything to. 

when she said this to me, i literally felt 1. confused and 2. like someone had punched me in the stomach. 

it's not because those things are true, with maybe an acquaintance...i don't blab my junk on people that i don't know (call me crazy) and i don't give people information that i feel they wouldn't be interested in, or that they don't know ME enough to know, but i have told this person everything. 

i don't know how i reacted, but i imagine it went along the lines of "wow, really?"  when inside i was thinking, "what are you TALKING about?"  it made me feel as if i were being manipulated, because it was so off base. 

then i realized this and explained.  my life has gone swimmingly lately.  i honestly, have not had a lot to complain about...with anything.  am i tired?  yep.  am i juggling work and school right now wondering if i can make it to christmas break?  yes.  but as far as major problems go?  haven't had any.  life is good, people and for me, there is just no reason to bring in stress by thinking about what is wrong and what could go wrong, etc.  why bother? 

the other minor thing that bothered me about this statement from her, was that oh, i AM going to school for a degree that revolved around being open and oh, i have been to counseling more times than the average bear. 

i DON'T have an issue with asking for help.

whew, o.k., i feel much better now.  thanks for listening. 

things i've learned about people, myself included

Image by zetson via Flickr

as time goes on, i think we, as human, learn a little more about humans each year. they are "a-ha" moments that are really no brainers, but they come to us after time. you know them innately, yet they are shown to you through different scenarios. you know those times?

i've learned:

1. the more someone talks about what they are, the more they are not. it most likely means they are trying to convince themselves and you that they are something that they just aren't. people who are that way....just are.

2. that just because you are a certain way towards someone, that doesn't mean that they will be the same to you. meaning, sometimes, things happen....you can be crappy to someone and that person can love you so unconditionally, that they continually are good to you. or vice versa.

3. that i feel very much alone in many things. i don't know if this has to do with being an only child, but i never felt this way when i was little.

4. that sometimes, because i'm a fixer and listener of people and situations, that people don't think that i need the same thing.

5. that you can say something a million times, but it all is nothing, unless you ACT that way.

6. that people who say that they "do things in their own time and way" really, just don't want to be told what to do, and the more you battle with them about it, they will NOT do it...just to "show" you.

7. lying is toxic, but excuses are worse

8. everyone deserves to be told that they are loved and the reasons why by the person whom they are spending the rest of their lives with, at least once. if you have not heard these things from them, i personally think that's settling. if that person has a "hard time" saying these things, that's an excuse...see #7. tell them to suck it up.

what are the things you've learned?