my friend called me the other day. we chit chatted and i moaned about some inconsequential stuff going on in life. and then she asked me...."were you baptized in the Catholic Church?"
i honestly forget about this part of my life, at times. yes, in fact, i was. and it wasn't at a time when i was an infant and didn't have a choice, or when i was younger and was "made" to go to the church. no, it was when i was a fully consenting adult at the age of 25. the purpose? while it may not have been the best one, i realize now, but it was the only way that i was going to marry the person i thought i was supposed to marry. not only was his family extremely religious, but being best friends with the Bishop of the area always raises it up a notch. it wasn't a question....in order to have this happen, i was going to have to convert.
convert from what? i don't know. i was baptized at the age of 12 or so...but i liken it to a family fad. we had gone to this church for about 4 years and then stopped going shortly after i turned 15 and had a mind of my own and could be stubborn enough not to go.
so, convert, i did. i went to classes every week; church, like it was going out of style and that's just the way it went. after that time, yes, we got married, and we went to church. every weekend. but i found my old doubts coming in....why did we have to go every weekend? why did we always have to go to the same church? why did we have to go to a spanish mass, when HEY! I'M THE NEW ONE HERE! not going to do me any good to hear a mass that i can't understand.
i found that my biggest issue was faith...and questioning. i didn't have that innately built into my being. i couldn't understand how a following of people could take some things SO literally. did they really believe that these miracles really happened? i had countless conversations with, maybe the wrong people, about this. mostly, it was my in-laws, and really they just thought i was a heathen for even questioning these things.
i went to a church service last night at the buddhist temple in honor my great-uncle and my grandma last night. there is a minister that performs these services for us, that is a woman and a minister in the buddhist temple....not something you see everyday. but her faith oozes out of her. and not annoyingly, but in the most calm and sure way. it's really amazing to see.
i think that will be what i strive for in every realm. FAITH. How do you get it when you don't have it?
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the question of the week....
my friend called me the other day. we chit chatted and i moaned about some inconsequential stuff going on in life. and then she asked me...."were you baptized in the Catholic Church?"
i honestly forget about this part of my life, at times. yes, in fact, i was. and it wasn't at a time when i was an infant and didn't have a choice, or when i was younger and was "made" to go to the church. no, it was when i was a fully consenting adult at the age of 25. the purpose? while it may not have been the best one, i realize now, but it was the only way that i was going to marry the person i thought i was supposed to marry. not only was his family extremely religious, but being best friends with the Bishop of the area always raises it up a notch. it wasn't a question....in order to have this happen, i was going to have to convert.
convert from what? i don't know. i was baptized at the age of 12 or so...but i liken it to a family fad. we had gone to this church for about 4 years and then stopped going shortly after i turned 15 and had a mind of my own and could be stubborn enough not to go.
so, convert, i did. i went to classes every week; church, like it was going out of style and that's just the way it went. after that time, yes, we got married, and we went to church. every weekend. but i found my old doubts coming in....why did we have to go every weekend? why did we always have to go to the same church? why did we have to go to a spanish mass, when HEY! I'M THE NEW ONE HERE! not going to do me any good to hear a mass that i can't understand.
i found that my biggest issue was faith...and questioning. i didn't have that innately built into my being. i couldn't understand how a following of people could take some things SO literally. did they really believe that these miracles really happened? i had countless conversations with, maybe the wrong people, about this. mostly, it was my in-laws, and really they just thought i was a heathen for even questioning these things.
i went to a church service last night at the buddhist temple in honor my great-uncle and my grandma last night. there is a minister that performs these services for us, that is a woman and a minister in the buddhist temple....not something you see everyday. but her faith oozes out of her. and not annoyingly, but in the most calm and sure way. it's really amazing to see.
i think that will be what i strive for in every realm. FAITH. How do you get it when you don't have it?
i honestly forget about this part of my life, at times. yes, in fact, i was. and it wasn't at a time when i was an infant and didn't have a choice, or when i was younger and was "made" to go to the church. no, it was when i was a fully consenting adult at the age of 25. the purpose? while it may not have been the best one, i realize now, but it was the only way that i was going to marry the person i thought i was supposed to marry. not only was his family extremely religious, but being best friends with the Bishop of the area always raises it up a notch. it wasn't a question....in order to have this happen, i was going to have to convert.
convert from what? i don't know. i was baptized at the age of 12 or so...but i liken it to a family fad. we had gone to this church for about 4 years and then stopped going shortly after i turned 15 and had a mind of my own and could be stubborn enough not to go.
so, convert, i did. i went to classes every week; church, like it was going out of style and that's just the way it went. after that time, yes, we got married, and we went to church. every weekend. but i found my old doubts coming in....why did we have to go every weekend? why did we always have to go to the same church? why did we have to go to a spanish mass, when HEY! I'M THE NEW ONE HERE! not going to do me any good to hear a mass that i can't understand.
i found that my biggest issue was faith...and questioning. i didn't have that innately built into my being. i couldn't understand how a following of people could take some things SO literally. did they really believe that these miracles really happened? i had countless conversations with, maybe the wrong people, about this. mostly, it was my in-laws, and really they just thought i was a heathen for even questioning these things.
i went to a church service last night at the buddhist temple in honor my great-uncle and my grandma last night. there is a minister that performs these services for us, that is a woman and a minister in the buddhist temple....not something you see everyday. but her faith oozes out of her. and not annoyingly, but in the most calm and sure way. it's really amazing to see.
i think that will be what i strive for in every realm. FAITH. How do you get it when you don't have it?
6 comments:
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Coming from someone who is not religious: I think that if you don't have faith, then you are not in the right building. If you have been going to that church for a while and don't feel as if you believe in what they are saying, then maybe you would be more interested in a different religion. Or no religion altogether.
If you have questions, in my opinion, people should be willing to answer them. They shouldn't look down on you for wanting to find out more. I think that people shouldn't take things at face value. -
October 29, 2010 at 6:42 AM
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Just start talking to God. Any God. It comes.
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October 29, 2010 at 7:24 AM
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I follow a blog called, "Oh Me of Little Doubt" (& he has a book out by the same name). I love both the blog & the book & it has helped me so much. I think it is a good place for those of us who admit to doubt to be.
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October 29, 2010 at 11:35 AM
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Great post. First I have to say I was raised/baptized in the Catholic church and while I still believe it was a very beautiful and at least in my case(the church I attended growing up) was a great foundation for me. I still love many things about the Catholics but I left the Catholic church a LONG time ago for many reasons that I won't publicly say out of respect. It took me a long time to find a spiritual home where I felt comfortable but what sealed for me in the church I go to now was a meeting I had with one of the priests and he said,"don't wait for me to tell you what to believe or what to do, you have to look in yourself for those answers. Because I don't have all the answers." How refreshing- Sign me up. I love having a spiritual home that encourages me to doubt and ask questions. I believe that it's in the doubt and questioning of an open heart that brings us into a conversation with God.
It's me-Pea btw way. I didn't realize until recently that I didn't have to make a new profile to make a new blog and now I'm stuck with 3 profiles for 3 blogs that I can't combine :o( -
October 30, 2010 at 12:01 PM
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fantastic feedback everyone. i agree, KT, i love what you said about "i think that if you don't have faith, then you are not in the right building".
I think the running theme is that it needs to be something that comes from within. unfortunately, i'm not really dedicating a whole lot of time to the cause of finding faith in something, but i have found that sometimes when you don't have faith in one part of your life, you find it hard to have it in others. this makes things difficult. -
October 30, 2010 at 4:50 PM
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Hey lady ... been awhile since I've visited, sorry :-(
I was right there with ya, with all the doubt. Also my upbringing was like 'a family fad' too. It's just what we did. What we knew.
Then I started to question it. I'm really into science and facts, so that alone gave me doubt.
I wish there was something for sure that I could believe in, b/c from what I know of faith, it's comforting.
I have it at times, yet starting to teeter closer to the side of disbelief, and from a book I've started reading -- it's an interesting perspective. -
November 6, 2010 at 5:37 PM
Posts
6 comments:
Coming from someone who is not religious: I think that if you don't have faith, then you are not in the right building. If you have been going to that church for a while and don't feel as if you believe in what they are saying, then maybe you would be more interested in a different religion. Or no religion altogether.
If you have questions, in my opinion, people should be willing to answer them. They shouldn't look down on you for wanting to find out more. I think that people shouldn't take things at face value.
Just start talking to God. Any God. It comes.
I follow a blog called, "Oh Me of Little Doubt" (& he has a book out by the same name). I love both the blog & the book & it has helped me so much. I think it is a good place for those of us who admit to doubt to be.
Great post. First I have to say I was raised/baptized in the Catholic church and while I still believe it was a very beautiful and at least in my case(the church I attended growing up) was a great foundation for me. I still love many things about the Catholics but I left the Catholic church a LONG time ago for many reasons that I won't publicly say out of respect. It took me a long time to find a spiritual home where I felt comfortable but what sealed for me in the church I go to now was a meeting I had with one of the priests and he said,"don't wait for me to tell you what to believe or what to do, you have to look in yourself for those answers. Because I don't have all the answers." How refreshing- Sign me up. I love having a spiritual home that encourages me to doubt and ask questions. I believe that it's in the doubt and questioning of an open heart that brings us into a conversation with God.
It's me-Pea btw way. I didn't realize until recently that I didn't have to make a new profile to make a new blog and now I'm stuck with 3 profiles for 3 blogs that I can't combine :o(
fantastic feedback everyone. i agree, KT, i love what you said about "i think that if you don't have faith, then you are not in the right building".
I think the running theme is that it needs to be something that comes from within. unfortunately, i'm not really dedicating a whole lot of time to the cause of finding faith in something, but i have found that sometimes when you don't have faith in one part of your life, you find it hard to have it in others. this makes things difficult.
Hey lady ... been awhile since I've visited, sorry :-(
I was right there with ya, with all the doubt. Also my upbringing was like 'a family fad' too. It's just what we did. What we knew.
Then I started to question it. I'm really into science and facts, so that alone gave me doubt.
I wish there was something for sure that I could believe in, b/c from what I know of faith, it's comforting.
I have it at times, yet starting to teeter closer to the side of disbelief, and from a book I've started reading -- it's an interesting perspective.
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