what would you do?
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
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PARTY TIME!!!!
what would you do?
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
a relative of yours is dating someone. you are close to this relative. and he is living with this person. This person plans a surprise party for this relative of yours. this person is not well liked in the family, but she has been around for a couple years now and so people have kind of accepted that she is around.
you find out today, that there is a party...today...that you didn't know about, because you and your family (immediate family), were not invited. you also find out that, everyone else was, minus one cousin and, in the beginning, this relatives own brother. The brother's girlfriend made a comment about it on the evite and then the brother was invited.
livid is not the word for what i am feeling about this. it just so happens that the people that are not invited, happen to be the most vocal about this person. what would you do?
there are many options in this scenario. letting it go and do nothing is just not one of them, in my opinion. i'm not planning on making a big fuss, but i will let it be known that i didnt' attend the party, not by choice, but because we didn't make the "cut".
4 comments:
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I'm just going to throw my 2 cents in here. Feel free to ignore. You cannot control what this other person does. And really, it's between them. It really is. A simple, "I would have loved to have been there. I didn't know!" Said in a super friendly tone is about all I would do. Sure, you feel left out. But ultimately, it's between them, yanno?
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October 14, 2010 at 8:14 AM
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"You cannot control what this other person does."
I agree. Kate's advice is good, i think. My tendency would be to say even more to your relative, "I wold have loved to be there. I was hurt not to be included." This might not be the best choice, depending on many factors that i can't know. Some folks simply shut down when you say something like that to them.
But, even tho you're hurt, to be too vocal about this is going to drive a wedge somewhere. If your relative is very committed to GF (& 2 years/living together sounds like that) the wedge is most likely to happen between you & relative, which could have a long-term impact for you.
I'm sorry you have to experience this. It is not cool of her to have done this. It hurts. I hope it gets resolved. -
October 14, 2010 at 8:50 AM
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Ooooh yikers. Kate & Kathryn have some good advice there.
This happened to us recently, well a few months ago. TH's nana invited everyone in the family (we are all local and there aren't many of us) to a family dinner, but excluded TH me and his sister and her hubby. His sister showed up to drop off a gift for her for something and was SHOCKED when she saw everyone in the family there but us and her and hubby.
I was shocked that the rest of the family went even though we weren't invited. Including TH's parents and other brother...
It hurts. and we have NO IDEA WHY we were excluded except that there is some childish catty feelings going on somewhere...
It sucks, but we shrugged it off, b/c it was brought to her attention how rude it was. And we pretend it never happened. It's family, you have to be supportive of some people.
It's hard, and it's not right to be excluded. If people in a family didn't like me, I'd still include them b/c it's for TH... and it's HIS family. yanno?
Okay ranting now. sorry -
October 14, 2010 at 5:26 PM
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i agree guys. i have been planning on just saying exactly what you said, in your comment, kate. i think that it is the best way to go about it. if i don't say something, it will eat me up, but if i made stink about it....well, that doesn't make sense, because, as you said...it's between them! i'm not actually so much upset about the fact that i was left out...but it's more the fact that my parents were.
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October 14, 2010 at 7:43 PM
Posts
4 comments:
I'm just going to throw my 2 cents in here. Feel free to ignore. You cannot control what this other person does. And really, it's between them. It really is. A simple, "I would have loved to have been there. I didn't know!" Said in a super friendly tone is about all I would do. Sure, you feel left out. But ultimately, it's between them, yanno?
"You cannot control what this other person does."
I agree. Kate's advice is good, i think. My tendency would be to say even more to your relative, "I wold have loved to be there. I was hurt not to be included." This might not be the best choice, depending on many factors that i can't know. Some folks simply shut down when you say something like that to them.
But, even tho you're hurt, to be too vocal about this is going to drive a wedge somewhere. If your relative is very committed to GF (& 2 years/living together sounds like that) the wedge is most likely to happen between you & relative, which could have a long-term impact for you.
I'm sorry you have to experience this. It is not cool of her to have done this. It hurts. I hope it gets resolved.
Ooooh yikers. Kate & Kathryn have some good advice there.
This happened to us recently, well a few months ago. TH's nana invited everyone in the family (we are all local and there aren't many of us) to a family dinner, but excluded TH me and his sister and her hubby. His sister showed up to drop off a gift for her for something and was SHOCKED when she saw everyone in the family there but us and her and hubby.
I was shocked that the rest of the family went even though we weren't invited. Including TH's parents and other brother...
It hurts. and we have NO IDEA WHY we were excluded except that there is some childish catty feelings going on somewhere...
It sucks, but we shrugged it off, b/c it was brought to her attention how rude it was. And we pretend it never happened. It's family, you have to be supportive of some people.
It's hard, and it's not right to be excluded. If people in a family didn't like me, I'd still include them b/c it's for TH... and it's HIS family. yanno?
Okay ranting now. sorry
i agree guys. i have been planning on just saying exactly what you said, in your comment, kate. i think that it is the best way to go about it. if i don't say something, it will eat me up, but if i made stink about it....well, that doesn't make sense, because, as you said...it's between them! i'm not actually so much upset about the fact that i was left out...but it's more the fact that my parents were.
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