i need a novel

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i had a conversation with my friend the other day and while talking, she made this profound statement and it stuck with me.  we talked about how it was strange that an ex of hers still kept in touch with her, yet never brought up the fact that she has a daughter now.  it almost seems like if he didn't bring the daughter up, it was like she had never had her or something.  anyway, we were talking about how weird that was and how, although my friend is NOT all about talking about her child every second of the day (because she's cool like that), that at least acknowledging the fact that she now has a child, is likely in order.  anyway, in the midst of this convo, my friend made a very profound statement.  it went something to the effect of, "i mean, some people write novels or discover things or something amazing during their life time....i mean, she (her daughter) is MY novel".  well put, i thought...and when she said it, it gave me warm fuzzy feelings too, which is a bonus. 

it really got me thinking about things.  i mean, when thinking of my mom, i guess I was probably her novel too, as is the case with many parents, i'm sure.  most parents, when asked, would say that their children are their biggest accomplishment.  but what about the rest of the people?  i mean, what about the other people who DO have a novel or other big thing?  and more importantly and relavent...i don't have a novel. 

after the past few days of not being at work, it's put a lot in perspective.  in the beginning, i thought that the job was the hardest one i had ever done.  now, after time, it's become apparent that it's really not...and that instead of having to have amazing organizational skills and special talents, that maybe you just have to catch on and have a memory of a process...that you are going to repeat over, and over, and over again.  it's a job that you don't really need any special training for at all and in reality, the person that i'm "replacing", started it pretty much right out of high school and has "outgrown" it.  and i know, in a while, i could be put in another job...but i'm even thinking about how that, doesn't even really seem very purposeful. 

so, i'm learning...i need a life full of purpose and making a difference.  whereas, when i was a school counselor, maybe some people viewed it as a hack job, i knew i was making a difference.  i knew that at least one time a day, some child felt special that i had taken some time to talk to them and care.  i know that today, when i see one boy in particular in the local grocery store that he works in (he's now in high school), that he remembers me and says hi.  in real estate, you could go the extra mile and make someone's experience a good one, so that they would recommend you, and so that they would have a fantastic expereince when everyone else was having bad ones.  when i was an adoption worker, well, you can only guess how you touch people's lives in that way. 

i would venture to say that this is the first job that i've had with very little, or none of that quality.  in addition, its not like there is a lot in my personal life that is involved in a cause or passionate issue.   i pretty much go to work, go to the grocery store, come home, make food, and go to bed.   i've been quite content on the weekend to sit around doing useless things, because my schedule is so overwhelmed. 

but while the schedule is overwhelmed, my life is underwhelmed....and i need to change that around.  i need my novel.