last week, as you know, was filled with many reunions....some good, some not so good, but it was good to see, that in the end, people DO stay the same. the core of who they are, stays true, no matter how many years go by.
there was a fourth one that happened, in a way, last week. It started with a comment on facebook from my step-cousin, who said something to the effect of "Amazing, my brother sean just found our half-brother that we've never met, he's a fireman, lives in San Diego, the magic of the internet".
my aunt jackie married my uncle john, years ago, but for both, it was a second marriage, in the case of my uncle, and a fourth in the case of my aunt. they never had kids of their own, but my aunt had three and my uncle had four.
my uncle had a son from a marriage a long time ago, and had reconnected with him at a later time in life. we never questioned this much, and to be honest, i didn't know that they had just reconnected since the son was grown. He then had three boys, my step-cousins, that i grew up around, yet my uncle left them with their unfit mother and saw them and had relationships with them.
when i read the comment on facebook, i first thought, "wow, i can't believe that my cousins haven't met that older brother at any time. that's really weird." but then things started not making sense to me. names were different, times didn't make sense.
in the end, turns out my uncle had another marriage and another son.
my cousin found this son, his half-brother, and connected with him. this man is 46, has a family of his own, and has in theory, never met his father. luckily, this man wants to meet the family, get to know everyone and was surprised to find out that he has "siblings" as he has been an only child all his life, adopted by his mother's husband.
this is very troublesome to me and doesn't sit right in my head. I watch shows like "the locator" and have always thought, "How on earth could a person leave their child and not speak to them for that long?" i'm not talking in the case of birthparent/adoptee, but you get my drift. and now, that person....is my uncle.
i've not seen my uncle since this happened. got a call from my aunt, saying something to the effect of, "you should talk to your cousin to find out about the new member of the family." i told her i already knew and had found out on facebook. i asked her how my uncle was feeling about this and she said, "he's excited". WELL DAMN FRICKING RIGHT HE SHOULD BE EXCITED....the son he abandoned as a baby is undestanding enough to want to forge a relationship.
i would love to know the whole story and have the story reinvent my uncle once again to the person that i respected and loved with so much of me, but i don't know that that would do it.
so, this goes back to people and my thoughts that they are the same, at the core...as they were so many years ago. does this challenge that? it could. i'd like to think that people can change and that people can make horrid mistakes, but become the best person ever, years later. but two times? i don't know.
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the fourth reunion
last week, as you know, was filled with many reunions....some good, some not so good, but it was good to see, that in the end, people DO stay the same. the core of who they are, stays true, no matter how many years go by.
there was a fourth one that happened, in a way, last week. It started with a comment on facebook from my step-cousin, who said something to the effect of "Amazing, my brother sean just found our half-brother that we've never met, he's a fireman, lives in San Diego, the magic of the internet".
my aunt jackie married my uncle john, years ago, but for both, it was a second marriage, in the case of my uncle, and a fourth in the case of my aunt. they never had kids of their own, but my aunt had three and my uncle had four.
my uncle had a son from a marriage a long time ago, and had reconnected with him at a later time in life. we never questioned this much, and to be honest, i didn't know that they had just reconnected since the son was grown. He then had three boys, my step-cousins, that i grew up around, yet my uncle left them with their unfit mother and saw them and had relationships with them.
when i read the comment on facebook, i first thought, "wow, i can't believe that my cousins haven't met that older brother at any time. that's really weird." but then things started not making sense to me. names were different, times didn't make sense.
in the end, turns out my uncle had another marriage and another son.
my cousin found this son, his half-brother, and connected with him. this man is 46, has a family of his own, and has in theory, never met his father. luckily, this man wants to meet the family, get to know everyone and was surprised to find out that he has "siblings" as he has been an only child all his life, adopted by his mother's husband.
this is very troublesome to me and doesn't sit right in my head. I watch shows like "the locator" and have always thought, "How on earth could a person leave their child and not speak to them for that long?" i'm not talking in the case of birthparent/adoptee, but you get my drift. and now, that person....is my uncle.
i've not seen my uncle since this happened. got a call from my aunt, saying something to the effect of, "you should talk to your cousin to find out about the new member of the family." i told her i already knew and had found out on facebook. i asked her how my uncle was feeling about this and she said, "he's excited". WELL DAMN FRICKING RIGHT HE SHOULD BE EXCITED....the son he abandoned as a baby is undestanding enough to want to forge a relationship.
i would love to know the whole story and have the story reinvent my uncle once again to the person that i respected and loved with so much of me, but i don't know that that would do it.
so, this goes back to people and my thoughts that they are the same, at the core...as they were so many years ago. does this challenge that? it could. i'd like to think that people can change and that people can make horrid mistakes, but become the best person ever, years later. but two times? i don't know.
there was a fourth one that happened, in a way, last week. It started with a comment on facebook from my step-cousin, who said something to the effect of "Amazing, my brother sean just found our half-brother that we've never met, he's a fireman, lives in San Diego, the magic of the internet".
my aunt jackie married my uncle john, years ago, but for both, it was a second marriage, in the case of my uncle, and a fourth in the case of my aunt. they never had kids of their own, but my aunt had three and my uncle had four.
my uncle had a son from a marriage a long time ago, and had reconnected with him at a later time in life. we never questioned this much, and to be honest, i didn't know that they had just reconnected since the son was grown. He then had three boys, my step-cousins, that i grew up around, yet my uncle left them with their unfit mother and saw them and had relationships with them.
when i read the comment on facebook, i first thought, "wow, i can't believe that my cousins haven't met that older brother at any time. that's really weird." but then things started not making sense to me. names were different, times didn't make sense.
in the end, turns out my uncle had another marriage and another son.
my cousin found this son, his half-brother, and connected with him. this man is 46, has a family of his own, and has in theory, never met his father. luckily, this man wants to meet the family, get to know everyone and was surprised to find out that he has "siblings" as he has been an only child all his life, adopted by his mother's husband.
this is very troublesome to me and doesn't sit right in my head. I watch shows like "the locator" and have always thought, "How on earth could a person leave their child and not speak to them for that long?" i'm not talking in the case of birthparent/adoptee, but you get my drift. and now, that person....is my uncle.
i've not seen my uncle since this happened. got a call from my aunt, saying something to the effect of, "you should talk to your cousin to find out about the new member of the family." i told her i already knew and had found out on facebook. i asked her how my uncle was feeling about this and she said, "he's excited". WELL DAMN FRICKING RIGHT HE SHOULD BE EXCITED....the son he abandoned as a baby is undestanding enough to want to forge a relationship.
i would love to know the whole story and have the story reinvent my uncle once again to the person that i respected and loved with so much of me, but i don't know that that would do it.
so, this goes back to people and my thoughts that they are the same, at the core...as they were so many years ago. does this challenge that? it could. i'd like to think that people can change and that people can make horrid mistakes, but become the best person ever, years later. but two times? i don't know.
2 comments:
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I don't know. I'm not too harsh on people and the decisions they make. There's all sorts of reasons/excuses people use to abandon people (including children) during the course of their lives. But then again, I come from a perspective of someone that sees it all the time in addiction. And when people get sober, they often try to reconnect with people they have left behind.
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March 18, 2010 at 7:19 AM
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K- i'm typically not too harsh either, i don't think. i guess, looking back, the times that i have been more hard with my feelings are times when i really feel that it's a moral issue. i agree,in addiction, you do see people change....everyday, when they get sober. and they CAN change and they can become a better person. That actually leads me onto some other thoughts that i've been thinking....
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March 18, 2010 at 1:14 PM
Posts
2 comments:
I don't know. I'm not too harsh on people and the decisions they make. There's all sorts of reasons/excuses people use to abandon people (including children) during the course of their lives. But then again, I come from a perspective of someone that sees it all the time in addiction. And when people get sober, they often try to reconnect with people they have left behind.
K- i'm typically not too harsh either, i don't think. i guess, looking back, the times that i have been more hard with my feelings are times when i really feel that it's a moral issue. i agree,in addiction, you do see people change....everyday, when they get sober. and they CAN change and they can become a better person. That actually leads me onto some other thoughts that i've been thinking....
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