Image by CarlosXS via Flickr
i know, also, that not everyone can drop everything for everyone. i know, that i am probably more giving/easygoing, than i need to be. how do i know this? because i find myself shocked on a daily basis that humans, some of them being my own friends, cannot give a crap enough to say, "hey, how are you doing today?" or, after i have listened to countless hours of issues from them, how it is too much for people to call or pick up the phone when i'm calling.
you may read that above statement and go, "what a brat!" but it's not that i even remotely think that someone should drop everything to talk to me, i don't. but what i do find hurtful, is that when i have called someone everyday for 3 weeks, that there is not ONE MINUTE, that they couldn't give a rip and call or TEXT back.
i give a lot to relationships and friendships, i always have. if someone i knew had a problem, i have no issue with stopping what i am doing and listening. i don't intend to change completely, but i have found myself retreating a bit. granted, maybe my life doesn't have as many ups and downs as most...it's pretty even keel, but it doesn't make it less. i don't think that i expect the same from my friends, but i do expect some level of, (if you are calling me your "closest friend"), reciprocation.
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2 comments:
I love the Snoopy/Woodstock pic. I love anything Snoopy & always have.
I have a hard time with a lot of friendships, because it seems that i'm the only one doing the calling. Or letter writing. Or whatever. In time i often get to a place where i stop calling. And often the friendship is doomed then. Sometimes i wonder what it is about me that people can so easily walk away? I'm not even a priority to my own sister. We didn't talk for 9 months & she wasn't even aware of it.
A couple of things have helped. Trent at Simple Dollar spoke of friends because of common interests - those that die quickly when the common interest is gone; & those friendships based on genuine caring for one another. I think those are more rare. It has helped me to differentiate these two. Doesn't help it feel any better, honestly, but i do understand that is how things go.
The other thing that has helped is to realize it is "not about me." It FEELS like it is, but honestly, it is the other person & their priorities. And these days not many folks put too much priority on friendships because they are just so busy.
Afraid this doesn't help much, but i do understand a little. NOT that i'm equating you with myself! (I'd rate myself more on the "loser" end of the scale right now! LOL)
Kathryn, i'm in the same boat. i seriously think that one of the main reasons why i don't have friends in the state that i live in, is because i stopped putting effort in when none was being made back. which has left me...with none! but when those friendships don't survive without your constant "preening" of them, i guess, i ask myself..well, then i guess they weren't solid enough to begin with, if i were the only one holding them together.
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