when they close one door.....

so, i was patiently (ha) waiting to hear about school. they SAID that i would hear right away. to me, that meant monday, as i was driving away from the interview. i went through things in my head and came to the conclusion that i couldn't have done anything different without completely lying about who i am, which you know...i would never do. when i looked at myself in comparison, i thought, i'm the same as these other people, except for the fact that i have not been in a mental health job for the past 6 years. but, heck, they said they had accepted a postal worker into the program. so...why not me.

monday night i woke up out of a dead sleep and for some reason had the thought, "i didn't get in". tuesday night, i reached the point of saying, "it's not going to happen" then yesterday, i thought, they have definitely called who they are going to..for god's sake, they only had 5 phone calls to make (they are sending letters to those who don't get in). and i made a decision to start looking at other schools and options, because hey, what did THEY know anyway. i'm a mover and a shaker, i don't rest on anyone's laurels, but especially my own. t and i discussed the idea that i could be a school counselor one we get the house paid off, but whatever. i started looking into other programs. it was general psychology and i'm thinking, "if i wanted to do regular psychology, i would have done it when i graduated from undergrad." it was tearing me up...i wanted to be a school psychologist...i want to study eating disorders and body image issues and help young people not be tormented by these things that i feel lead to a WHOLE landslide of other problems.

i got in.