my family has a tendency to have lot of funerals. by lots, i don't mean that lots of people die...by lots i mean that typically when a family member passes away, we usually have a minimum of 2 services. One is usually in that town that we alll live in and the other is in denver, at the buddhist temple there.
what makes that all o.k. is the tradition behind everything. i'm not buddhist, but many members of my family are. although i have no idea behind the significance of many things, i love the consistency behind this religion. it is mysterious but simple.
the whole concept with death is that we were never mean to be here forever, that we were meant to move on and like turning of the seasons, our lives turn as well.
in many asian cultures, i suspect, paying homage to your ancestors is huge. they are what made you and in my family, especially, we saw a large amount of people traveling across the country to support my aunt and the rest of the family. i don't think anyone likes funerals...ever. but what i do think that it does, is allow you to go outside of yourself and give your support and love to someone else. i don't think that anything exemplifies this more than watching the buddhist ceremony and listening to the readings. the theme for this was to give more than you take. that is definitely what my uncle did. he was quiet, he let my grandfather take care of the "outer world" and he stood behind the scenes. he always made sure that his family was provided for and even though he never told anyone that he loved them, they never doubted that he was there to catch them if something were to happen.
although, this happened all on halloween weekend, i really wouldn't have changed it. it's not an obligation to go to things like this at all, but i think it's because i've been raised in a family that has unconditional love. it's not about showing up and proving yourself, but times like this, in our family are times to go inside yourself and show what is there.
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I always felt that funerals were bittersweet. Sad to say goodbye to a loved one. But, a special opportunity to remember a special soul. And a rare time to be with family in its entirety. The Buddhist ceremony sounds like it gives you ample opportunity for both.
strange... in a way ... b/c mike and i were talking about religion yesterday and of all the religions, Buddhism is the one we'd really like to learn more about.
I'm sorry about your uncle.
It's nice to have a family that is there and supportive and shares a belief of values.
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