hey, you asked for it

i am always of the mind-set, that "if you have something to say, say it" not with irreverance, not with malice, not with anger...but you don't know if you'll regret not saying something 4 years down the road.

but, on the flip side, if i'm going to voice my opinion and i'm not sure if the person wants to hear it, i will ALWAYS ask them if they want my thoughts.

which is why, i do not understand, with all the previous things being said, why certain people will ignore you after you give them such advice or thoughts from your head.

i have a friend, she is wonderful, has been a friend for years. she was teased when she was younger (who wasn't) over weight issues. for the past years, she is nothing but a stick. she is tiny.

i got a message from the a few weeks ago stating something about all the 15 pounds she had gained and how she needed to diet. i saw her the other day for the first time in about a year or more and she was TEEEEEENNNSY. in the bony way.

after we met, i asked her, "hey, i thought you said you needed to lose 15 pounds, how did you lose it that fast?" the reply was disturbing.

it was that she was at her "fat" stage NOW. that she had weighed 15 pounds less (read: less than 100 pounds) before and she just couldn't lose the weight now. it was that the students at school that she taught, called her the slim fast queen, because that is all she ate (read: drank). it was that she went to the bathroom when she was done eating. it was that she was so full after not a lot of food. it was that she struggles with the fact that she has a daughter that she doesn't want to be teased....ever.

i said what i could then, but i had more to say. she had to go, but i asked if i could give her some ideas over email. she said yes.

my email was NOT mean, was not belittling, was not anything, but what i thought was helpful, or at least the kind that said, "hey, i've been there too, and i don't know how i got over it, but i did....maybe some of these things are how"

it makes me sad that sometimes when we most need someone to listen, that it is US that run, because we don't want to have to talk. or that when we most need to listen ourselves, that we are the ones that run, because we don't want to hear.