had a conversation yesterday with a friend that was going through a rough time and was shocked and seriously felt like i had been hit in the head during it. she made a very eloquent comment about how a lot of times, you are really mourning, not what really was, but what you hoped that it would be.
maybe it is just me, but i found this to be incredibly profound. and powerful. it could really "guide" what you choose to actually mourn or grieve over. of course, you should always give yourself time to do both of those things if need be, but for some reason, that little comment made it seem like you can take back a little bit of the power from those demons that sometimes sneak their way into our lives.
the trip
what a 48 hours that was. whew. but in the course of it, we:
1. went to MN
2. ate at wendy's at 10:30pm
3. skated a marathon
4. watched 5 year olds play hockey
5. ate massive amounts of meat at Fogo De Chao
6. watched old reruns of Man vs. Food and Anthony Bourdain
7. went to one of the places where Man vs. Food taped
8. went home
it was the most packed weekend i've ever had, but for some reason, it made it last the perfect amount of time. 
the getty
i had an impromptu trip to l.a. one year that ended up finding me one of the pieces that i wear, as if it were attached to my skin.
we were thinking of things to do and one of the things mentioned was the Getty Museum. We HAD to eat there. The food was great, but the scenery was amazing. and when i was not planning on buying anything, i wandered over to the small glass case and found this. 
i understand the picture is not clear...i love it. it gives a feel for what the ring is..it's like an extension of my hand.
the latest
I did this baby bootie, but i think i'm going to redo with a tighter stitch. it really is so cute, i just kept this one.
This is the start of the blanket. it will have stripes in the middle. varying with the purple and green, then a lighter blue border. with a pocket for a stuffed animal that you can make to match.
i'm a baby product making machine
no, i'm not a baby making machine like some of you. but since you all seem to be in the mood, i seem to have a new part time job of crocheting gifts as fast as you seem to be making them. i've started on a blanket for the friend in l.a. what a project. i'll post as i get some more done. it's not too exciting right now 120 stitches across of the same color.
i did, however, get some time to do something for moi. that is this braclet. it's so cute, and juni, was going to make you one, but it really hurts when you put your wrist down on the table to type or write. all in the name of fashion, i guess.
the place to be
a few years ago, my friend Nancy asked me to go in on a joke of sorts with her for her kids. we lived in denver at the time. she asked me to meet her at this place with her kids at a certain time for brunch. i'm thinking, "brunch? i'm there" not too hard to convince me to go to a place with Nancy for food.
Nancy is a straight-laced woman...well, she appears to be. she is the quintessential lady, wearing suits, with high end lace collared shirts. but, she is a therapist, which lends her to be open to anything. she is also a foodie. this woman has searched us out the best restaurants and each time, we go...and die a little bit when we eat the food.
well, that day, i met them at the restaurant and i walked in to the most amazing smells. however, the decor was a bit, well, different.
there was lawn furniture inside and barbie dolls in compromising positions on the tables. and then there were things like this:
it takes a little getting used to, i'll admit. sitting a table while your waiter is rubbing his fake nipples made out of bubble gum or putting his "pouch" on your table. but man oh man, is IT worth it. it's called Bump and Grind and features menu items such as "carmel knowledge" and "elaine's big salad" my favorite is the mac and cheese. it's a brick of it. literally. and it has rosemary, glorious cheese, wonderful noodles.
if you are denver, this is not to miss. really.
tainted?
i was married when i was 25. i think of this man often and send such good vibes his way. i hope that he is well. in fact, he is such a good person, i wish the very best for him.
anyway, so much went into that wedding. i cringe to think of it. i'm not a wedding person, although, i think that planning weddings would be amazing....for someone else. i'm not a traditional wedding person, and yet at the moment, we had to be traditional. not only did we have the million person party, but we had it at a wonderful historic hotel in Boulder, had a harpist, had a traditional dress, had a great time. we folded 1,001 silver origami cranes and painted a tree silver and hung them from the tree, it was beautiful. we had a bishop marry us in the catholic church where i went to school at growing up. it was perfect.
but, alas, things didn't work out, and like many people, i'm left with the dress. i love this picture of me in it, because i was trying to find angles to take my face out of it to sell it, but nothing seems to work. this just is funny to me. i've tried to sell this dress again and again and...nothing. i think that people believe that it's tainted. it's not...it's beautiful. would i wear it again or choose it if i had to do it over again, no, but i love looking at it. particularly of it on me with my faceless head. LOL
the best blog ever
i was in the shower today...thinking about something so funny that i thought, "that is a TRAVESTY that i didn't blog about that"
i can't remember what it was now.
*sigh*
i can't remember what it was now.
*sigh*
oh my god, i'm turning into my mother
for years, i've made fun of my mom. she gets into holidays. and i mean, GETS INTO them. i'm here to model the power of genetics to you today, apparently.
This piece is my favorite. i designed it, so i guess it should be. the bail has diamonds all channel set down the middle. the emerald is in gold and the bottom diamond is, well....to me, perfect. is it tacky, absolutely. is it weird for me to own it considering that I don't wear tons of jewelry and yet i choose to wear something totally heavy and huge...yes. but all the pieces have extreme sentimental value and then all together...oh my gosh, it makes me love it that much more.
full force
life is moving at full force right now. there is so much going on, that it's almost hard to keep track...of myself. If this tells you anything, t went to go make popcorn yesterday, and went to pop it...in the office. he was sitting there, holding the popcorn bag, going, "how did I get in here? why am I here?" then he realized....oh, the microwave is in the KITCHEN.
i'm slowly realizing, as I never have, that my body has limitations and this is sad. i may have to pull out of the marathon that i've been dreaming about, but it's probably for the best. i've tried to force it, but it's just not happening. the reason i know this...well, i can't walk, for one.
i'll post more later...lunch time.
are you wearing green?
i am, green sweater and every green emerald i own...oh, green eyeshadow. come to think of it. i look like a bad hooker.
i'm slowly realizing, as I never have, that my body has limitations and this is sad. i may have to pull out of the marathon that i've been dreaming about, but it's probably for the best. i've tried to force it, but it's just not happening. the reason i know this...well, i can't walk, for one.
i'll post more later...lunch time.
are you wearing green?
i am, green sweater and every green emerald i own...oh, green eyeshadow. come to think of it. i look like a bad hooker.
well, i'm alive
i haven't even checked my email that much, if that tells you something. i got whatever, feeling like a brick got stuck up my nose and is sitting on my forehead, type of illness t had last week. so, i've been holed up in my cozy bed, while he has been in WY working away.
some of the most extraordinary things happened this past week. well, one. i've never had anyone that i've known not be trying to have a baby and then find out that they were...and then have them be o.k. with that. we sat there the night that she was getting ready to take the tests and bantered back and forth about how it so was NOT the case and how everyone (her sister) was making a deal about it, when clearly, she was obviously NOT. oops, she is.
i'm so happy for her and her guy, i can't even express. they are seriously the people that can handle something unexpected like this and turn it into something that seemed like it had been planned for years.
On another front, the running is still happening. i'm still planning on doing the marathon, despite my setback a couple weeks ago. i've been running this week, which may seem counterintuitive considering my cold, but i truly feel that this makes people heal faster.
i'm going to l.a. in april sometime to see my friend from 3rd grade. she is having a baby and i was told that i better come becuase "i'm not going to have time for you later". hmmm...
some of the most extraordinary things happened this past week. well, one. i've never had anyone that i've known not be trying to have a baby and then find out that they were...and then have them be o.k. with that. we sat there the night that she was getting ready to take the tests and bantered back and forth about how it so was NOT the case and how everyone (her sister) was making a deal about it, when clearly, she was obviously NOT. oops, she is.
i'm so happy for her and her guy, i can't even express. they are seriously the people that can handle something unexpected like this and turn it into something that seemed like it had been planned for years.
On another front, the running is still happening. i'm still planning on doing the marathon, despite my setback a couple weeks ago. i've been running this week, which may seem counterintuitive considering my cold, but i truly feel that this makes people heal faster.
i'm going to l.a. in april sometime to see my friend from 3rd grade. she is having a baby and i was told that i better come becuase "i'm not going to have time for you later". hmmm...
asia
For those of my friends in their 30s or so, you'll likely remember this song. i heard another one the other day and ir reminded me of this one....i swear, i haven't thought about it in AGES.
Gut wrenching
i don't have a child, and won't have one for a while, but if you do, or ever plan on having one in your entire life....i don't suggest watching the changeling. The acting was amazing, i mean, really, and the story, was true. but unless you have time in your day to feel like your having your intestines ripped out of you....then, i would skip it.
i mirror the sentiment of kate
i mirror the sentiment of kate
fish tacos and traditions
picture by David Agren on Flickrwe have some friends that live nearby that we love. they are great, but we really do not see them a whole lot. as our lives are consumed by work, running, working out, goofing off; theirs are consumed by taking kids to practice and games nonstop.
but, we got call this week that always comes around this time of the year when they are "participating" (this is so NOT the right word, but i can't think of a better one) in Lent. so, for lent, this family cannot eat meat on fridays...so, the most common thing is fish. always around this time of year, we go to fish taco fridays. we go to a place and i'm sure their fish tacos are not the best....but they are cheap, and there is never anyone else in the restaurant (they do a big delivery business to campus). it's not the food that's great, but the people and friends and the tradition and comfort of knowing that every year....it's just what we do
so, here we are at fish taco friday. we are stoked.
(and i found coupons for this place !!!!)
but, we got call this week that always comes around this time of the year when they are "participating" (this is so NOT the right word, but i can't think of a better one) in Lent. so, for lent, this family cannot eat meat on fridays...so, the most common thing is fish. always around this time of year, we go to fish taco fridays. we go to a place and i'm sure their fish tacos are not the best....but they are cheap, and there is never anyone else in the restaurant (they do a big delivery business to campus). it's not the food that's great, but the people and friends and the tradition and comfort of knowing that every year....it's just what we do
so, here we are at fish taco friday. we are stoked.
(and i found coupons for this place !!!!)
when they close one door.....
so, i was patiently (ha) waiting to hear about school. they SAID that i would hear right away. to me, that meant monday, as i was driving away from the interview. i went through things in my head and came to the conclusion that i couldn't have done anything different without completely lying about who i am, which you know...i would never do. when i looked at myself in comparison, i thought, i'm the same as these other people, except for the fact that i have not been in a mental health job for the past 6 years. but, heck, they said they had accepted a postal worker into the program. so...why not me.
monday night i woke up out of a dead sleep and for some reason had the thought, "i didn't get in". tuesday night, i reached the point of saying, "it's not going to happen" then yesterday, i thought, they have definitely called who they are going to..for god's sake, they only had 5 phone calls to make (they are sending letters to those who don't get in). and i made a decision to start looking at other schools and options, because hey, what did THEY know anyway. i'm a mover and a shaker, i don't rest on anyone's laurels, but especially my own. t and i discussed the idea that i could be a school counselor one we get the house paid off, but whatever. i started looking into other programs. it was general psychology and i'm thinking, "if i wanted to do regular psychology, i would have done it when i graduated from undergrad." it was tearing me up...i wanted to be a school psychologist...i want to study eating disorders and body image issues and help young people not be tormented by these things that i feel lead to a WHOLE landslide of other problems.
i got in.
monday night i woke up out of a dead sleep and for some reason had the thought, "i didn't get in". tuesday night, i reached the point of saying, "it's not going to happen" then yesterday, i thought, they have definitely called who they are going to..for god's sake, they only had 5 phone calls to make (they are sending letters to those who don't get in). and i made a decision to start looking at other schools and options, because hey, what did THEY know anyway. i'm a mover and a shaker, i don't rest on anyone's laurels, but especially my own. t and i discussed the idea that i could be a school counselor one we get the house paid off, but whatever. i started looking into other programs. it was general psychology and i'm thinking, "if i wanted to do regular psychology, i would have done it when i graduated from undergrad." it was tearing me up...i wanted to be a school psychologist...i want to study eating disorders and body image issues and help young people not be tormented by these things that i feel lead to a WHOLE landslide of other problems.
i got in.
meme
got this from Pea
this is about your significant other. answer at your leisure
1.He’s sitting in front of the TV: what is on the screen? usually some crime show or the simpsons
2. You’re out to eat. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad? he never gets salads. if he does, then we are at Bonefish Grill and they have their own custom salad dressing
3. What is one food he doesn’t like?mushrooms
4. You go out to the bar. What does he order? shirley temple (you think i jest, but i do not)
5. Where did he go to high school? Lino lakes MN
6. What size shoe does he wear?10.5
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? He "collects" ( i call it hoards) anything that he likes, that he is certain will be discontinued. this goes for shoes, jeans, body wash, etc. we can all be assured that he will be a 90 year old wearing levis that were bought in 2008.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?he eats ham on white bread with mustard and pickles and red onions (hey, cut him slack...he's allergic to everything else)
9. What would your Husband eat every day if he could? I don't know. i may say sbarro pizza, but i'm not sure. he's allergic to dairy, so i'm thinking he might like some cheese in his diet?
10. What is his favorite cereal? i don't really know. he eats oatmeal everyday, but i don't think it's his fave...he just wants low cholesterol
What would he never wear? flat front pants....this KILLS ME.
12. What is his favorite sports team? doesn't have one
13. Who is his best friend?That's such a highschool question! i have no idea
14. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do? exaggerate
15. How many states has he lived in?4
16. What is his heritage?French and Italian
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? something without milk that will not kill him
18. Did he play sports in high school? track, maybe?
19. What could he spend hours doing? skating
20. pea added 20. what is your favorite thing about him? i would say kind of along the same lines as you pea. my husband has no qualms about it if someone thinks he's not masculine enough. he owns a sewing machine and sews fleece into his pants to keep warm. he makes manly jewelry as well. i like those things about him.
this is about your significant other. answer at your leisure
1.He’s sitting in front of the TV: what is on the screen? usually some crime show or the simpsons
2. You’re out to eat. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad? he never gets salads. if he does, then we are at Bonefish Grill and they have their own custom salad dressing
3. What is one food he doesn’t like?mushrooms
4. You go out to the bar. What does he order? shirley temple (you think i jest, but i do not)
5. Where did he go to high school? Lino lakes MN
6. What size shoe does he wear?10.5
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? He "collects" ( i call it hoards) anything that he likes, that he is certain will be discontinued. this goes for shoes, jeans, body wash, etc. we can all be assured that he will be a 90 year old wearing levis that were bought in 2008.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?he eats ham on white bread with mustard and pickles and red onions (hey, cut him slack...he's allergic to everything else)
9. What would your Husband eat every day if he could? I don't know. i may say sbarro pizza, but i'm not sure. he's allergic to dairy, so i'm thinking he might like some cheese in his diet?
10. What is his favorite cereal? i don't really know. he eats oatmeal everyday, but i don't think it's his fave...he just wants low cholesterol
What would he never wear? flat front pants....this KILLS ME.
12. What is his favorite sports team? doesn't have one
13. Who is his best friend?That's such a highschool question! i have no idea
14. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do? exaggerate
15. How many states has he lived in?4
16. What is his heritage?French and Italian
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? something without milk that will not kill him
18. Did he play sports in high school? track, maybe?
19. What could he spend hours doing? skating
20. pea added 20. what is your favorite thing about him? i would say kind of along the same lines as you pea. my husband has no qualms about it if someone thinks he's not masculine enough. he owns a sewing machine and sews fleece into his pants to keep warm. he makes manly jewelry as well. i like those things about him.
yowza
i will say, when i first heard about pilates and even when i took a first class at a chain gym nearby, i kind of thought it was pretty hokey. not to say that people that do it arent' in great shape...most that i know are. but it was more that when i went to classes, or i heard about them, i thought, "there is no way that this could keep you in shape"
well, i stand corrected. i went to a class last night and luckily, i was there with only one other person. this meant one on one with the instructor. she taught techniques and basics and although i didn't sweat, i did stretch, lengthen, and apparently tone.
today i found....that it kicked my butt. or to be more specific...my abs.
well, i stand corrected. i went to a class last night and luckily, i was there with only one other person. this meant one on one with the instructor. she taught techniques and basics and although i didn't sweat, i did stretch, lengthen, and apparently tone.
today i found....that it kicked my butt. or to be more specific...my abs.
buckets of sweat
gross.
but that is what the person that was sitting next to me smelled like yesterday.
i had my interviews to get my PhD yesterday. it was horrendously long, tirelessly anxiety-ridden, and there was not a big sigh of relief at the end of the day to feel like we got something accomplished.
i didn't have interviews for my masters in social work, it was just, hey, you did well on the GREs, and you dont' seem like a nutjob, so here you go...go to our school. but, i guess the big difference is when you accept 250 people vs. 6. i guess they wanted to screen a little more thoroughly for nut jobs at this opening.
we had three hours of individual interviews, then a break, then an afternoon of group ones, then a place where we could ask current students their opinions on things.
we are supposed to hear today or tomorrow. please cross fingers, eyes, toes, or whatever you do for good luck for me.
but that is what the person that was sitting next to me smelled like yesterday.
i had my interviews to get my PhD yesterday. it was horrendously long, tirelessly anxiety-ridden, and there was not a big sigh of relief at the end of the day to feel like we got something accomplished.
i didn't have interviews for my masters in social work, it was just, hey, you did well on the GREs, and you dont' seem like a nutjob, so here you go...go to our school. but, i guess the big difference is when you accept 250 people vs. 6. i guess they wanted to screen a little more thoroughly for nut jobs at this opening.
we had three hours of individual interviews, then a break, then an afternoon of group ones, then a place where we could ask current students their opinions on things.
we are supposed to hear today or tomorrow. please cross fingers, eyes, toes, or whatever you do for good luck for me.
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